


Shattered Glass

by flyafar



Series: Picking up the Pieces [2]
Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Courtship, Exploration, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Romantic Angst, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Sister-Sister Relationship, Slice of Life, Teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 19:50:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13197345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyafar/pseuds/flyafar
Summary: Something horrible happened out on the frozen fjord. Anna is not okay, but Elsa is there to make sure she will be.





	1. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with cover art by the incredibly talented smol-grump. <3

 

Anna trembles after a start. An almost peaceful sleep, ruined. More than seven months have passed since the Great Thaw, and still she remembers the pain of it. The phantom spasms and tremors as she tries to grasp the blanket closer to her chest... They are agony. She cries out softly and begins to sit up. The figure beside her mumbles gently.

 

"Anna... how is it hurting? Is it the dull throb again, or..." She trails off with a light yawn. Pulling her arm from Anna's waist, she wipes the sleep from her eyes.

 

"Ngh, it's sharp. Moving up and down." Anna gasps as the pain redoubles.

 

Elsa coos sympathetically, "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Here, let me take a look."

 

"Please, Elsa- AH!"

 

"Shh, it's alright. I've got you," Elsa murmurs, sniffling softly.

 

Anna leans into her sister as she holds out her arm for examination. Elsa always knows how to help with the pain. Dull aches called for a light massage paired with a coating of rime. Sporadic flexing of muscles she no longer had? That was fairly straightforward to deal with as well, if a tad more... involved. She would chill Anna's forearm for a minute or so, and that let Anna find some relief as she held her arm close to her chest. She still wasn't totally sure how it worked, but Elsa had explained it as best she could. 'I'm reaching out beneath the skin with my cold.' That satisfied Anna's curiosity somewhat.

 

Elsa's cold was indeed a curious thing. It was different than the biting sting of winter's snow. True enough, the violent storms she could produce weren't much different from the absolute worst that nature had to offer, yet she was capable of such a gentle touch.

 

Her magic could soothe like no other salve Anna had encountered. Extensive testing had borne that fact out. Elsa was the first and best line of defense against her worst moments of anguish.

 

These ones were always tough, though. The sharp pains that shoot up and down her entire right arm, often extending into her chest. For cases like this, comfort is much harder earned.

 

She's learned to recognize the signs of its approach. Interestingly enough, her pains seem to develop in stages.

 

The ache is omnipresent.

 

Following that is the dull throb. In Elsa's estimation, Anna has become far too lenient with that stage. Pain must be monitored, and carefully managed. Unchecked, it can begin to spiral. Anna has explained her rationale, of course. 'It's just so common,' she'd say, 'that it'd take over our lives if I bothered you every time the throbbing started.'

 

Nonsense. Elsa asks after it with the slightest hint of its presence. She refuses to allow Anna to let herself suffer.

 

The throbs can occasionally progress into the phantom spasms that are nearly impossible to ignore. It feels as though the hand is constantly grasping, faster than should be possible. And it tears at the joints she shouldn't be able to feel. Extremely painful, yes... but still manageable with Elsa's concerted effort.

 

The twitching, though... It always leads to the sharp pains that she dreads most, but the crucial thing is that it can be allayed through careful attention. Elsa has become prodigious when it comes to preventing the worst of the pain from manifesting itself.

 

Anna often dreams of the pain. She has trained herself to recognize the signs this way. Waking up before it extends its reach beyond its lawful bounds, she can manage it. Well, they can manage it.

 

She didn't dream tonight.

 

It caught her off guard, insultingly enough. She knows what will come if she ignores the twitch. She didn't want a peaceful sleep. She wanted to stand up to the pain. She's sick of the games her mind is playing with her.

 

There's nothing there.

 

Is she going insane? Has it already happened? What do you do when your worst enemy is your own body? Your own mind?

 

"Anna! Stay with me. Please, sweetheart." Elsa rubs her cheek with a cool hand, trying to keep her alert.

 

"Els..." She says something, at least. Her sister's voice is so gentle. Soothing. The contrast with the buzzing in her head has her reeling. She wants to echo that calm. She wants to show her sister that she's stronger than the pain.

 

Well… there's a sort of dignity in quiet suffering, right? Surely that's enough. She can't do much else at the moment.

 

"It's alright. You're... doing great, Anna. You're so strong." Elsa's lips move against her sister's temple as she whispers encouragement, guiding Anna through the worst of it. A small mercy that these flare-ups never last very long. They sure do come at the worst times, though.

 

Anna's breathing is sharp and fast as she slowly takes in her surroundings. They're still in her chambers, of course. Dawn seems to be a ways off yet. This is the fourth night in a row that she's woken her sister up, then.

 

She flits her gaze from the window over to Elsa. She can see the shadows under her poor sister's eyes, even in the pale moonlight. Exhausted. They're both exhausted. How much fight does she have left?

 

How much patience does Elsa have left?

 

No. She pushes those thoughts away, like she always does. Elsa is her rock. She's never given Anna a reason to think like that. Not once since her recovery began all those months ago.

 

Still, she doesn't let it go entirely…

 

"'m sorry, Els..." she says softly as her gaze falls down to her arm. "Please go back to sleep. I'm o-okay. Promise." The lump in her throat is really inconvenient right now.

 

Elsa just holds Anna tighter to her chest, pressing her lips to an unruly red mane.

 

Anna's face is tucked into the crook of her sister's neck as the pain recedes further. Her arm is pressed between their bodies, with Elsa's hand stroking the underside softly. It feels wonderful. Minutes pass like this, until Elsa finally speaks.

 

"Anna."

 

The idle picking at her sister's sleeve ceases, and she looks up. Elsa is looking down at her with such a warm expression, but there's a tightness around her eyes. Anna smiles back at her, though the pain ensures it's more of a grimace than anything else.

 

Elsa runs her cool hand through Anna's sweat-soaked hair. The effect is at once calming and slightly unsettling. "You are the bravest girl I have ever known. As well as the most stubborn."

 

Anna fights back a shock of pain just long enough to scoff playfully, "Nngh, and how many girls have you known, dear sister?"

 

Concern… A furrowed brow. Worry lines at such a young age. Yet Elsa continues unabated, the half-smile she flashes her little sister causes her to swallow air. "Whatever are you implying, Anna?"

 

"N-nothing." She looks back down to her sister's sleeve, face feeling warmer all of the sudden.

 

She can feel Elsa's silent chuckling. With the pain threatening to return, and with this latest embarrassment borne from another failed attempt at a joke, Anna feels so very small.

 

"I'm not, Elsa."

 

Elsa pauses her ministrations, and Anna is cursing herself yet again as she feels her sister's eyes on her.

 

Anna rushes to explain. "Brave, I mean. Reckless, yes. But not brave."

 

"Ah… and I suppose this is the part where you tell me, once again, that it's not bravery if you're 'too stupid' to consider the consequences of sacrifice. Is that right?" Elsa's voice is clipped. Crisp and terse. It hurts.

 

"Don't do that, Elsa. Please." Tears gather once again. Pathetic.

 

"What is it that I'm doing, Anna? Are you really going to try to convince me that you would have done a single thing differently had you known the outcome? You saw that monster towering over me, ready to cut me down in my greatest moment of grief, and you acted. With every passing day, you prove your love for me a thousand times in a thousand different ways. Please just let yourself breathe."

 

"But how do you know?" Anna's voice is rising. "How can you possibly… I was broken, Elsa! I AM broken. Do you really think I wouldn't have hesitated had I known what kind of life was waiting for me? For us? When I ran to that sword… there was no fear. No hesitation. I was resigned. I had made my peace. Or I thought I had!" Tears are flowing freely now. "What peace is this? If I'm so 'brave', Elsa, then why am I so afraid?"

 

Elsa's lip trembles, but she's looking at her sister with a fire in her eyes that Anna had rarely seen. It's almost frightening. As she shakily runs the pads of her thumbs over reddened, tear-stained cheeks, she whispers hoarsely, "Fear is good, Anna. It has a way of revealing a person's character. Our fears are shaped by our past experiences, sure. More than that, though, our fears have a way of letting others know what we value most. To know someone's fear is often to know their deepest desire." Kissing her sister's sore cheek softly, she goes on, "And do you know what I see in you when you share this particular fear, dear sister? This deepest, most primal concern about your own self-worth?"

 

Anna shakes her head jerkily, unable to respond any further. She is transfixed. Never before had Elsa looked at her so intensely. It is wonderfully imposing. Even in her delicate shift, stroking her sister's cheek with unbridled affection, Elsa looks every bit the regal queen Anna has come to adore more and more with each passing day. She cannot suppress the shiver that runs up her spine.

 

"What I see, Anna, is a failure on my part." Elsa sighs as she pulls their blankets closer, wrapping Anna up in as much warmth as she can manage. "A failure to help you see just how worthy you are of love. You have nothing to prove to me. I see you as you are. My sweet, beautiful, stubborn baby sister. My perfect little snowbug. I may be Queen, but my most important duty is to you. I will not rest until you see yourself as I do."

 

A small, strained noise leaves Anna's lips as she curls into her sister's embrace. As she hides her head in the crook of Elsa's neck, new tears gather in the corners of her eyes. Almost before it happens, her sister is soothing fresh spasms in her arm, and she can feel Elsa's delicate fingers playing with the small baby-soft hairs at the nape of her neck. The nails create delightful shivers that run down her spine. They settle below her navel, and frayed nerves are drawn taut. She's absolutely positive that Elsa can feel her hammering heart. Gods know how often her sister finds 'subtle' ways to reassure herself that the strong beat still sings the song of life.

 

Sure enough, as she brings Anna's arm to her impossibly soft lips, Elsa's fingers dance from the back of Anna's neck, playing over her collarbone before a palm is resting over her heart. Her thundering heart.

 

"Anna… your heart is racing. Is the pain that bad?" Anna feels her sister push her back gently, rubbing her arm as the telltale glow of the Queen's magic starts to make its way under her sensitive skin. A cooling wave washes over her, calming her slightly, but…

 

"It's not th- I mean… yes." Coward. "Thank you, Elsa." She stopped it before it got 'that bad'. "It's better now." Oh, how generous of you, throwing her that little bone. How about responding to what she said? "A-and you haven't failed me. Not once in all these months. No matter how s-selfish, or demanding I am of your time… you're always there for me when I need you."

 

Elsa cradles Anna's arm to her chest. Her bright blue eyes pierce Anna's soul, and a look of cold determination sends another damnable shiver down Anna's spine. "Of course I am. You're my little sister. It's my job to protect you, Anna." Elsa's eyes flicker down to the knobbly stump of flesh in her hands. Caressing a soft thumb over the fractal patterns of scar tissue, Elsa seems to gather herself. A furrowed brow, pursed lips, and then a raspy voice, "We should get some rest, Anna. Tomorrow's a big day." She brings her sister's arm to her lips, leaving a gentle kiss. "Those snowmen won't build themselves."

 

"Elsa…"

 

"And if they do, we should probably be concerned. Olaf is one-of-a-kind as far as I know… Though I suppose it's possible there are more little snowmen running around out there. After all, I was unaware of Olaf's existence until you brought him to me…."

 

Elsa is looking at her with a very slightly manic expression, and Anna feels a pang of dismay. She's an expert at hiding her emotions with rambling, and the fact the Elsa is trying to do the same is almost comforting. Almost. Mostly, she feels guilty for all the times she's tried to keep Elsa's concern at bay by assaulting her with words. It does not feel great.

 

"...and maybe by the end of Winter, we'll have worked out a way to keep track of all the snowmen and perhaps even conduct a census!"

 

"Elsa!" Anna says firmly, rubbing her sister's cheek, trying not to marvel at the smoothness.

 

Elsa blinks twice, and gives a sheepish smile. Even that sends Anna's heart into a fit. This is getting out of hand. "Sorry," Elsa says, and Anna feels a bit like a chump right now.

 

"No, Elsa, it's fine! Totally fine. I don't even know why I'm so worked up, honestly. It's just… well, I know that look." Nevermind the fact that she only knows because she was standing in front of a mirror when Elsa asked her how it was going with Kristoff. That may have been her most uncomfortable bit of rambling to date. "I know I've been stubborn and closed off since this whole thing started. I feel like I have no right to say this, but… Elsa, the guilt in your eyes breaks my heart."


	2. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cost of sacrifice is borne by those left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Graphic violence, brief mentions of suicide.

_**~Seven months earlier~** _

"Elsa, you can't run from this!"

She turns around at the voice barely being carried by the howling wind.

Her own voice is pleading. Desperate. Her arms out, placating. "Just take care of my sister." Words unspoken ring with clarity inside her head.

_And I'll be no threat to anyone._

"Your sister? She returned from the mountain weak and cold. She said that _you_ froze her heart."

There is sadness etched on his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Elsa barely gives it a thought. "No…" She gasps, eyes focusing miles away, her mind racing. "No…" She gasps again, and she sounds so weak and feeble. _It can't be. Please… no. Not Anna._

He continues.

"-to save her but it was too late!" He keeps talking but Elsa does not hear- Can not hear anything but the blood rushing through her ears.

"-hair… white…"

She refuses to believe it. _This can't be the end_. Anna was going to be happy and safe, away from her! Basking in a sun-soaked kingdom, taking her first steps in her new role as the crown princess of Arendelle…

Happy… Her dear sister would finally be as happy as she deserved to be.

"No…" The smallest voice and a shake of her head. This wasn't real.

"Your sister is _dead_. Because of you."

"No!" She staggers back as her world crumbles around her. She turns away, unable to share her private mourning. She stumbles forward but her legs give out. She needs to leave. She needs to be alone. She needs…

_Anna…_

She sobs. Great, heaving gasps of air as her lungs burn. She welcomes the pain. Cruelly, the storm ceases, then. It's utter silence but for her agony. Lying here, in her grief, she feels all of it. The last thirteen years of anguish and guilt… it was all for nothing. She caused her sister so much pain for so long, and this is what it all amounts to. She always had been a coward, and now it was too late to do the one thing that would have truly protected Anna.

In the space between her pathetic gasping, she hears a sword leave its scabbard. She does not fight. She does not dare. Finally, too late, it's going to happen. Her breathing begins to slow.

 _Will I get to see her? Just once more would be fine._ She imagines a stolen glance at bouncing twin braids before she's shunted off to where she belongs.

" _No!"_

She hears it. Or she imagines she does. A brash, courageous voice… Even in her thoughts, Anna is there, always trying her best to make things better.

Then, she's sure of what she hears. Metal on ice. The vicious snap of it. Cracking. Shattering ice. A cold exhalation.

A last gasp.

She turns her head, her peripheral catching a hint of ice-blue fingers. Her eyes go wide at the sight. Frantically, she tracks her gaze along a delicate arm, up, _up,_ and when she finally sees her, she's struck in the chest by the shock of it. "Anna!"

She bounces to her feet and moves - as quick as her spent body will carry her - to the front of the haunting statue of her beloved sister. From this vantage point, Anna's face, etched with both determination and fear, stares up at a once-towering monster. And now… at her. _How fitting_.

Elsa is coming apart at the sight of her, still and quiet. It's so very unlike her dear Anna, who was always so full of life and love. "Oh, Anna! No… No! Anna, please no."

She feels the tears gathering. The dam is beginning to break again. Finally, with a desperate sob, she calls her sister's name. In her heart, she knows it will be the last time she'll ever speak again. When she's done... when she has been left utterly spent, threadbare and raw, emotionless in the face of the heaviest loss she'll ever endure, she will flee. With all her strength and determination, she will swiftly make her way up to her mountain refuge, sequester herself, and wait for the end of it all. However it may come.

She imagines she'll be able to help it along quite nicely. She might even get creative with it. Grip her own heart with ice… constrict it once for every time she thinks about her. The memories, at least, will be sweet.

_I owe her that much._

She doesn't know how long she spends there, wrapped up in a one-sided embrace as she pours every last ounce of love and loss into her display of grief. Probably just a few moments. Time plays cruel tricks on the ones left behind.

It feels like an eternity passes before she hears it. A howling, anguished scream from just above her. As she struggles to make sense of what's happening, Elsa quickly looks up to see Anna - her precious Anna - and her heart plummets. Her sister looks like such a wretched, pitiable thing. Her screams almost inhuman as they fill the air. Elsa is lost. Terrified. She shushes and coos and whispers in Anna's ear as she draws her close, hot shame washing over her when she smiles in relief. Relief! Her sister is in obvious distress and she's just clinging to her, smiling brokenly.

_Useless._

She pulls back, eyes darting frantically, trying to understand. Anna is still screaming and when Elsa follows her wide - too wide - eyes, her heart shatters all over again.

The sword, meant for her, is lodged inside a mangled stump of an arm. Blood is pouring down the blade, gathering at the hilt before it plop, plop, plops on to the icy fjord. So much blood. Too much. _Far_ too much. She's going to lose her sister all over again.

She screams for help. Screams so loud it burns. She hears the sound of crackling ice and fractured steel. The sword is quickly covered in ice before it shatters, fragments embedding themselves into her sister's arm.

Anna is nearly retching between renewed cries of pain and Elsa's vision is blurred as she screams again. It's impossible to tell if anyone hears her, so panicked and loud she is. So blinded by her own pointless tears.

She needs to control this. Conceal it. She can't afford to feel right now. Anna needs help, and Elsa's fear is just making things worse.

Anna's screaming has stopped, replaced by ragged breathing and choked sobs. She swallows and tries to speak, "Elsa? Are you-" She cries out again, trailing off into muffled whimpers. The bloody stump of her arm doesn't bleed as it should, and Elsa can see ice - her ice - coating the wound.

"Shh, Anna… Help is on the way. I've got you. I'm so sorry." Elsa glances around, careful not to move her sister too much, She sees the body of the man she spoke with earlier. It is utterly still. Lifting her gaze up from the sight, she spots another man - Kristoff, was it? - running toward them. He nearly trips in his haste to reach them. Elsa just barely notices the small snowman trailing up behind him.

"Okay. Anna, sweetheart?" Her sister looks at her then, and it's all she can do not to break down into fresh sobs at the pain in Anna's eyes. "S-someone is coming. We need to get you comfortable while we assess the damage."

Anna nods erratically, eyes red and cheeks tear-streaked, and yet there's the ghost of a smile. "Elsa… A-all right."

"Carefully now…" Speaking through shuddering gasps with a wavering voice, Elsa slowly guides them both down onto the ice, hollow assurances falling from her lips. She is painfully aware of the metal shards still violently embedded in her sister's arm.

"D-did he hurt you, Elsa? I'm s-"

Elsa shakes her head jerkily, affection and grief overwhelming. Her sister's capacity for love is nearly impossible to comprehend. "Shh, don't speak. Just lie down." She cradles Anna's head against her chest as they both look at the man sprinting up to them. He falls to his knees, sliding the last few meters.

He blanches when he sees Anna's arm. Olaf gasps as he clumsily comes to a stop behind him..

"Kristoff-" Anna tries.

"We need to stop the bleeding as much as possible. Kristoff, can you make a tourniquet?" Elsa asks.

"I…" He looks as overwhelmed as Elsa feels.

"Anna?" Olaf is visibly distraught as he stares wide-eyed at the scene.

Elsa manages to spare a pitying thought for the creature.

"Give me your arm." Her voice is clipped as she addresses Kristoff. At once, his arm shoots out before her. She easily slices through the fabric of his sleeve with a shard of ice, removing several thin strips and tightly wrapping them around Anna's forearm, just below the elbow. She should have cleaned her sister's arm of blood first. _A stupid mistake. I won't make another._

With the bleeding almost completely stanched, Elsa carefully inspects the gruesome wound. Mangled flesh and bone seem to hold the sharp pieces of metal in place. A thin layer of ice coats the tip of the limb, and the unbloodied skin looks… sallow. Panic rises within her once again. Anna's arm is beyond saving, cleaved in two and blood red. The steel shards are embedded several centimeters into the forearm.

"Amputation…" She says, almost to herself. Removing the bits of steel would be cruel. The pain unnecessary. Now or later, most of the forearm will have to be removed. The risk of infection is too great, and the damage far exceeds modern medical techniques. "Kristoff, go get help. Ask for Oskar Thomsen, the Royal Physician." While she speaks, she crafts a short letter to the doctor, explaining the situation. "Tell him it's urgent, and to prepare for a possible amputation. Answer his questions as best you can and spare no details." She stamps the message with Anna's royal seal, freezing the mark to the page. Pride flares in her chest when she sees that her sister carries it with her, just as an Arendelle princess should. She hands the letter to Kristoff with haste. "Hurry!" He turns to leave and she brings her eyes back to her beloved sister. She looks so pale. Not at all like the beautiful peach tone she remembers from the ball.

"Elsa?" Anna whimpers as Elsa rests a cool hand on her forehead. "Am I gonna die?"

Off to the side, she hears Kristoff's short intake of breath. "Kristoff, go. Now!" Her patience is running thin with this man, but she does not doubt his concern for her sister.

Elsa's vision sharply focuses on Anna's face, and she sees fresh tears run down freckled cheeks. "Anna… I'm here. I'll keep you safe. We'll get you fixed up and… and you'll be dancing and climbing trees again in no time at all." Elsa's voice nearly breaks as she speaks, but she stays strong. Anna deserves nothing less.

Anna smiles at that, eyes brightening. Elsa considers it a small victory.

Just then, Olaf carefully trods toward them, his twigged hands wringing together. Elsa feels a strong pang of sympathy.

"Hey there, buddy," Anna breathes, wincing. Her demeanor seems to shift as she addresses the nervous snowman.

"Anna, what… w-what happened? Did you have an accident?"

He looks close to tears, and Anna chuckles mirthlessly before regarding him with a patient smile. "Something like that, Olaf. I did something silly. I'd do it again, but… it wasn't one of my more graceful moments." She glances at her sister's forlorn expression. "You've met Elsa, haven't you? She's the reason I'm still alive."

"Oh! Hello again, Elsa! Anna is really nice. Thank you for letting her live."

Elsa can't help the choked sob that bursts forth. Olaf recoils as though he'd done something wrong. She bites it back as best she can, eyes shut tight. It doesn't stop the tears.

"Elsa, it's true! If it weren't for what happened back on the mountain, I wouldn't have frozen when I did. I would be _dead_ if not for your magic. The sword…" She swallows, gathering herself. "He would have killed me. He could have _hurt you._ " Her eyes are shining with fresh, unshed tears.

Elsa is momentarily stunned at the implication in her sister's words. "Anna, that's absurd! If it weren't for me, you would be safe in the castle at this very moment, warm and content." Elsa's voice is high and stressed. She refuses to let Anna rewrite history just to spare her ego.

"Els-"

"Wait, you were frozen?!" Olaf's voice manages to cut through the tense atmosphere, halting the brewing argument in its tracks. He clears his throat. "L-like me?" He adds, sheepishly.

"Not... Quite. I was frozen solid. It… protected me from-" Anna's eyes slam shut and she groans in pain. "from his blade. It protected us both." Her gaze rests upon Elsa once more, and her smile returns.

"But, Anna, you don't look frozen anymore! What happened? Your- Did Kristoff make it to you in time? Did he thaw your heart?" Olaf's wide eyes peer at her, waiting patiently.

Anna's strength seems to be fading. "Well, no. At least, I don't think so? All I remember is jumping in front of that sword and then…"

"Olaf, I think Anna needs some rest. S-she has a lot of healing ahead of her." Elsa's words are empty. False. She just wants to end this exchange so that she can focus on Anna's safety as best she can.

"Elsa, it's all right. Really." Anna looks to Olaf, looking for all the world like a tutor explaining an idea to a curious pupil. "Suddenly, I was frozen, and then I wasn't. I can't really explain it, but…"

"An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart," Olaf whispers the words in wonder. Reverence. "Anna, you love her, don't you? Your sister?"

Her dear sister giggles then and Elsa's heart leaps. It's a pained sound, but even Anna's grimacing smile is infectious as Elsa struggles to keep up with a wet smile of her own. This is so much, so fast. Anna's voice captures her attention. She feels helpless and frightened and she is desperate to hear her response.

"Of course I do! Elsa means the world to me. I'd do anything for her." The words are simple and yet Elsa is struck dumb by her sister's reply. Suddenly, turquoise blue eyes are boring into her, and Anna continues, breathless, "I've missed you, Elsa. I'm so sorry for what happened at th-" Anna releases a sharp cry of pain, and Elsa's fear and uncertainty resurfaces before she stamps it down. She can examine her mistakes later. Anna's words of love swell her chest with elation. It's destined to be short-lived, but right now, Anna needs her.

"Sweetheart, it's all right! I've got you." She scoops Anna up into her arms again, gently. "Doctor Thomsen will be here soon. I wanted to take you to him, but I was worried… Your wound…" She trails off uncertainly, glancing at her dear sister's arm before fixing Anna with a piercing gaze. "I'm sure this is the right decision. I know it is. Time is pressing but we need to be cautious as well." To her own ears, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself as much as her imaginary opponent. She turns to Olaf, and the poor creature looks so lost and frightened. "Olaf, love?" Elsa keeps her voice as calm as she can. He looks at her with such a profound sadness. Elsa stares at a spot just past his head. "Anna needs your help. Go after Kristoff. Do whatever you can to help him. Hurry along now, okay little one?"

"I can help? I can- yes! Okay, yes Elsa, I'll help! Anna can count on me!" His peculiar face is screwed up in a fevered determination as he turns and runs in the direction that Kristoff took off in minutes ago.

Elsa looks after him for a moment before focusing all of her attention on her sister, frail in her arms. "I wish I could take away the pain. You don't deserve any of this, Anna." She falters at the end, lips trembling. Still, she's staying strong. She needs to. Suddenly, thoughts become words and she doesn't dare try to stop them from tumbling forth. "I... didn't deserve what you did for me. I could have stopped him! I could have pierced his heart in an instant if I wanted to but I just… I thought you were gone. I thought I had killed you! My wonderful, sweet sister. I thought you were dead and I just… gave up. I am so sorry, Anna. I always seem to find a way to hurt you." Her tears are falling onto Anna's brow and she realizes they must be so cold on her sister's skin. The thought crushes her again and she hastily, angrily wipes her own tears away and wills herself to regain her composure. Sighing softly, she carefully wipes Anna's forehead dry with trembling fingers. Her hands are too cold. She knows they are. She curses herself again. "After everything I've done… Anna, why? Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?"

"Elsa, weren't you listening? I love you," Anna said simply, and the gentleness, the compassion in her eyes was more than Elsa could bear. She had to look away, even if she couldn't help the small, tremulous smile gracing her lips.

"Your tears…" Anna said suddenly, and Elsa was taken aback by the smile in Anna's voice. "Y-your hand… on my head. The coolness, it felt- I don't know. Elsa, could you help me? Your powers? Your magic?"

 _My… Magic?_ Elsa's head was spinning. "What do you mean, Anna? How could my magic help you? My magic caused all of this! The doctor will be here soon and he-"

"No, Elsa, listen!" Anna's voice was gravelly and slightly slurred, yet she sounded frantic. "It felt good, when you were touching me. I felt… relief. The coolness seems to help so much. It feels like it's underneath my skin. It feels incredible. Could you please… I mean, could you try? My arm hurts so much, Elsa. Please help me. I can't- I'm trying so hard to stay with you, here, talking to you like I've always wanted, but I can't do it. It hurts so much. I don't want this. Please, Elsa!" Anna was sobbing now, and her words were difficult to understand between the gasps of pain.

Elsa can't keep up. She doesn't comprehend- What does Anna want her to do? Her touch is dangerous! She could hurt her sister. Freeze her. _Destroy_ her. Her touch is vile, she's sure of it. Fear grips her. She needs her gloves. She's a monster that needs a leash. "Anna, I'll just hurt you. I can't be trusted to use my powers! Not around others, at least. Please, the doctor w-"

"I don't want the doctor!" Anna screamed, and Elsa's heart leapt from her chest. "I need you! I need my sister to help me! Please, Elsa." Anna gripped Elsa's hand. It was lying on the ice by Anna's side all this time. "Elsa, you can help me. I know you can. I love you, and… and you love me. Right? Don't you?"

She sounds so unsure, and Elsa gasps in despair. "Oh, Anna! Of course I do!" She is so tired, and her eyes and throat burn from all the tears.

Anna's smile is small. Private. "You won't hurt me. Just focus on helping me."

Anna brings Elsa's hand to her mangled arm, and Elsa forces her fears away. Banishes them, for now. Shaking madly, her hand gently strokes blood-soaked skin. It feels too cool to her touch, remembering the warmth she felt from Anna, before the accident that forced their separation..

The tips of her fingers are hovering over shiny red flesh. Anna sighs in grateful relief, but Elsa still can't believe it.

"Elsa…" She gasps, the word leaving her lips slowly. Reverently. This is mad! "Elsa, thank you. That feels so much better. It's incredible."

Elsa can't believe her ears. Slowly, she presses the whole of her hand down onto the mangled flesh, not once cowering at the gruesomeness of the wound. Her brow furrows in concentration and Anna sighs again gently. The sound relaxes her and the tension starts to ebb away. She feels the magic at her fingertips, tendrils of ice snaking out beneath her sister's skin. _Oh no…_ "Anna!" Her voice is soft, but urgent. "Anna, maybe we should stop. This is dangerous. You don't know what my magic can do. Please, I can't hurt you again."

"Elsa, it's all right." Anna's voice sounds far away, lilted and serene. She brings her hand to Elsa's cheek and runs her thumb along smooth, cool skin. Elsa feels that familiar, long lost warmth, then. She craves it. Elsa had forgotten… The Ice Queen persona is powerful, and it was true enough that the cold never really affected her, but it was warmth - sweet, enveloping, loving _warmth_ \- that she found the most comfort in. "You're doing wonderfully," Anna continued, "I feel… It's not numb, but more like… slowed? The pain is slowed. It doesn't throb or- I'm probably not making sense. The pain was shooting up my arm and now it's just… trapped. You're amazing, Elsa."

Anna's smile is like the sun. Elsa is blinded, yet she can't look away. She swallows roughly, cheeks pinked. Praise is something she has never gotten used to. It came so rarely in between their parents' furtive whispers and fearful caution. Even Anna's desperate, awed pleas for her sister's attention were but a gentle - and at times not-so-gentle - reminder of her shortcomings. She has wanted for so long to be the sister that Anna needs. A protector, a confidant, someone worth the admiration Anna showed her in their childhood - before reality and disillusion stole that from them both.

The love she feels in this moment... It feels like her childhood recaptured. Anna's bright smile and gentle eyes. Her relentless optimism and her supportive urging for Elsa to be herself. Anna always brought out the best in her. Even if Elsa believes that her worst moments as a sister were a result of her own carelessness, she can't ignore the fact that Anna - her sweet, loving sister - makes her feel… wanted. She makes her feel wanted and as though she can do anything. Elsa feels _free_ in Anna's presence. Supported unconditionally by someone she has only ever wanted to make happy. Anna loves her and Elsa, beyond a shadow of a doubt, loves her dear sister back with a tireless, eternal devotion.

"Love..." Elsa's voice is low. Whisper soft. Realization dawns and she smiles to herself.

"Elsa?" Anna asks gently. Elsa starts, prompting a small giggle. She realizes then that she never bothered responding to her sister's praise, stuck as she was in her own head. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." She giggles again, and once more Elsa is struck by her sister's impossible joy for life.

Elsa's smile grows as her sister looks at her, first with mirth and then with confusion. "Love will thaw," Elsa says, recalling with startling clarity the words that Olaf relayed to her. "Of course!" Elsa looks around at the frozen sea surrounding them. "I think I can do it. I can fix this! Anna, I can fix it!"

Anna is smiling at her, affection plainly evident in her gaze. "I know you can, Elsa. I've never doubted you. Not for a single second." Anna tries to sit up, grunting softly with effort.

Elsa looks back down at her, brow creased. "Anna… please, be careful. The wound is still-"

"I know," Anna says through gritted teeth. "I know it is, but we need to stop this storm. People are hurting."

"We _need_ to get you to safety. We should at least get you off the ice," Elsa says.

"No." Anna's sitting up on her own now, eyes lit with a fire only she could manage. Elsa swallows again. Anna looks down to her side, trailing her hand along the ice. She glances at the small fishing vessel a few dozen meters away. "Okay, actually we should probably move to the ship," she amends sheepishly. Her gaze flits over the fjord, back to the town proper. "B-but we need to move quickly! The citizens weren't prepared for a winter storm, Elsa. Firewood is scarce because of the season. Homes are freezing…" She groans. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have been so awful back at the ball. Those horrible things I said… It's no wonder you were afraid!"

Elsa couldn't let that stand. "Anna, _no_. I-"

"We can talk about this later. We _will_. But right now, your people need you," Anna said. The fire in her eyes remains, dulled though it is by her reflection of the past few days.

"O-okay, Anna. You're right." Elsa carefully withdraws the hand on her sister's wound, tension pouring back into her at the sight of it.

Anna turns to look at her. "I'll be okay. It's just for a few minutes, right?"

"Yes." Elsa is still looking. She needs to stop. "I am so sorry, Anna." Tears threaten again. She sniffles.

"None of that. I'm fine. Or, I will be. It was worth it, to save your life. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Might take a generous dose of laudanum first, though."

She grins and Elsa is laughing despite herself. "I love you, Anna." Slowly, Elsa rises to her feet. She's dimly aware of Anna's eyes tracking her every movement as she takes her sister's hand. "Let's get you to safety." Her smile is soft and Anna looks away, shyly concealing one of her own.

"Yes, a-all right. Thank you, Elsa," Anna says, standing feebly, her wounded arm supported gently by Elsa's other hand, magic still flowing under reddened, shredded skin.

Elsa glances at the wound again, fretting over the task ahead of her. She needs to get her sister to safety, and she needs to make sure she remains comfortable. Anna's screams are going to haunt her, she realizes grimly.

They make their way to the ship and Elsa crafts a flight of stairs with the flick of her wrist. They look far too ornate for the simple purpose of leading them onto the ship, but the awe in her sister's voice is something she'll never pass up the opportunity to bring forth.

"Elsa, it incredible! You just wave your arms and... " Anna trails off, muttering words like 'beautiful' and 'effortless' under her breath.

"Thank you," Elsa says softly. "I've never been able to show my magic to anyone… except for you."

"Well, everyone should see it! Beauty like this shouldn't be hidden away. Elsa, your powers make you who you are. They're just… beautiful." Anna grimaces. "I'm sorry, I'm just repeating myself now."

Elsa chuckles lightly, her breathing very slightly labored as she supports Anna's weight up the stairs. It wouldn't do for Anna to slip and fall. They reach the ship's handrail and Elsa helps her sister over it, always mindful of that dreadful wound.

"Okay, Elsa. Just set me down here and do your thing." Anna's voice is chipper but Elsa can hear it starting to waver. She needs medical attention.

Elsa scans the expanse of ice between their ship and the shore, yet she cannot see anyone rushing toward them. Kristoff hasn't brought the doctor back yet. _What is keeping them?_  
  
"Elsa! Please, you need to hurry. You can do this. What was it you said? 'Love will thaw'? Well I love you, Elsa." Anna's voice wavered more and more, and Elsa knew her pain was returning with renewed strength. "Please."

"Don't worry, Anna. This will only take a moment." Elsa's heart is hammering. Her anxiety and fear return as she leaves Anna's side. She glances once more at her sister. She's scowling, hunched over her arm, jaw flexing in pain. Elsa forces herself to look away, back to her kingdom. "Don't worry, Anna. I'll be right there. From this moment on, I will always protect you."

And I love you too," Elsa adds. With those words hanging in the chilled air, Elsa draws a fresh breath. She stands tall, confidence slowly fading until she thinks of her sweet sister's courageous sacrifice. The deep and abiding love between them flows forth from Elsa's fingertips as she paints the pale grey sky with dazzling blue light. It reaches the dense cloud cover shrouding Arendelle and soon the entire sky is awash in pastel blues and purples. From a few paces behind her, she hears Anna's awed wonder, and she smiles proudly to herself.

The clouds begin to scatter, and the snow stops falling. For a moment, time stands still. Snowflakes hover all around them, silver-blue light radiating from each individual crystal. Elsa lifts her arms up smoothly, and the dazzling display follows suit. The snowflakes trace a path back up into the scattered clouds, gathering together above them before bursting out in all directions, blinding the both of them with a shocking array of blues, greens, pinks, and purples.

Anna gasps again at the display. "Elsa! That was incred-"

Suddenly, a groaning from beneath strikes them both in the chest, fast and hard. The ship begins to right itself, bobbing dangerously in the thawing waters. Ice cracks as it splits apart, evaporating swiftly in Summer's midday sun.

As the sea settles, churning the ship beneath them, Elsa struggles to maintain her balance. She freezes the water immediately surrounding the ship, eyes darting to her sister. She's huddled into herself in obvious agony, blood pooling beneath her.

"Anna!" As Elsa rushes to her side, a flurry trails in her wake. When she stops, a gust of snow blows over them both. Anna smiles through the pain, looking at her sister with warmth and gratitude.

"I knew… you could do it," Anna says. Her eyes soften and her eyelids droop.

"Anna, stay with me. The doctor will be here soon. Just a few more minutes, all right?" Tears prick at the corners of Elsa's eyes as she places her hand on her sister's wound. She notices the cloth tourniquet loosely clinging to her arm, bloodsoaked and stretched beyond usefulness. The blood is slick but she manages to slow the flow of it. "Please don't leave me." Her voice sounds so pathetic to her own ears. Anna needs her to be strong.

_Conceal._

Anna lifts her hand to Elsa's cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, Elsa. Not now that we've found each other again."

Elsa smiles, chuckling brokenly. "We have. And you've done more for me than you can ever know. I can't lose you."

"I'm just... a little sleepy." Anna's voice is faint.

 _Conceal._  
  
"I'll stop the bleeding. Just hold on to me, Anna." Elsa pulls her close and Anna clings to her shoulder weakly. Her weight begins to sag and Elsa knows her sister is losing too much blood, too fast. It's a miracle that she's managed to remain conscious for as long as she has.

"I love you three, Elsa." Anna's head droops onto her sister's shoulder.

Elsa inhales shakily. "Anna?"

No response. A storm brews inside her once again.

_Conceal, Elsa._

Elsa closes her eyes, focusing on the warmth of Anna's body. She can hear slow, shallow breathing in her ear, and she stutters a sigh of relief. Magic flows through her and she feels under the skin of Anna's ruined arm. She feels the warm blood rushing to meet her touch. With all the finesse and concentration she can muster, she freezes the blood vessels shut, one by one.

By the time she opens her eyes, the bleeding has stopped. It's then that she realizes a voice had been calling for them. For Anna _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a long time coming, and I do apologize for that. It went through several revisions and was eventually split in two. The second part is finished, for the most part, but my editing process is… less than quick. It will come, and soon. I promise!
> 
> In the meantime, please, leave your thoughts if you'd like. Thank you for your patience. Any and all reviews are appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read! <3


	3. Overseer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: Description of surgical amputation. Not to worry, it is not overly detailed and Anna is not distressed or agonized during the procedure.

"Anna! Where are you?!"

Kristoff's voice rings out loudly on the calm sea, and Elsa clears her throat to respond in kind.

"We're up here! On the ship! Please,  _hurry!_ Is the doctor with you?! _"_ She hears a shout of assent and the scattering thunks of what sound like boots on ice. Satisfied, she flicks her fingers to lower the rope ladder down to the two men. While they climb up, she moves her sister away from the pool of drying blood.

Doctor Oskar Thomsen crosses the ship's handrail clumsily, his large bag obviously a burden for a man of his size.

"Your Majesty, what has happened? The mountain man told me to prepare for amputation!"

"His name is Kristoff." She says shortly, huffing a breath as she sets herself down with Anna in her arms. "And what has taken you so long?"

"My apologies, Your Majesty! His story just seemed so- A-and the fjord! He seemed to know to head toward where the beam of light originated, but we had to commandeer a boat..." He finishes lamely, Elsa's glare withering.

"Am I to understand," she replies, teeth clenched as she pinpoints the root of the delay, "that my sister has endured this agony for longer than necessary because your suspicions caused you to plod your feet? Did the royal seal not satisfy you?!"

Snow whips angrily around the group and Oskar pales, eyes wide with fear.

"W-we were told the princess was dead, which meant that someone else must have used her seal. I thought-"

"It does not matter! You're here now, though I've done most of the work for y-" She cuts herself off and pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. "I… apologize, Oskar. I am letting my emotions get the better of me. Based on the information you had, there was reason to be suspicious." Kristoff scowls at that, and the corner of Elsa's lips twitch slightly. "Thankfully this  _mountain man_  had enough sense for the both of you." Kristoff stands straighter upon hearing her words, and Elsa looks back at the doctor, eyes flashing. "You will treat my sister now, correct?" She holds Anna even tighter. "Or do you require further proof of our authority?"

"Yes, Your Maj- I mean no, Your Majesty! My deepest apologies." His shame and contrition are evident in his downcast eyes as he kneels beside them and busies himself with getting ready. Elsa almost feels badly for treating him this way. She truly does have a temper.

"Y-your Majesty? We need to lay the princess out so that I may examine her. The procedure will have to be done here. Moving her in this state would just be fraught with danger."

He looks far too nervous for Elsa's liking, and she places a careful hand on his shoulder. "I have full faith in your abilities, Oskar. I do apologize for my demeanor. It has been a… stressful experience." She looks at him gravely. "Please, do whatever is necessary to help my sister. You will have my eternal gratitude."

He smiles tentatively, and his shoulders seem to fall in relief. "Of course, Your Majesty. It wouldn't do to have the halls of the castle empty of our dear princess's antics."

She returns a wan smile and begins to extricate herself from Anna's grip, somehow stronger in her unconscious state. With Kristoff's assistance, she lies her sister down on the deck of the ship, resting on her knees beside her, a cool hand stroking a hot forehead.

Oskar tears Anna's sleeve, rolling them up above her elbow before he begins to clean the area with antiseptic. Anna's brow flinches but her breathing remains steady.

"Remarkable…" Oskar murmurs under his breath.

"What is?" Elsa asks. Her eyes reluctantly leave the doctor's hands to peer at his astonished expression.

"Well, Your Majesty, she does not bleed! An injury like this should… forgive me, but even with a tourniquet, if the princess sustained this injury as long ago as I was told, she should be… deceased from blood loss." Oskar inspects the wound closely, presses two fingers to her neck for a few moments, and then looks back to Elsa. "Indeed there  _is_  a substantial loss of blood, yet her pulse seems uncommonly strong for such a dire state." He stares at her, and she feels just a little uncomfortable under his admiring gaze. "The tourniquet is slack and yet…"

Elsa regards him evenly. "Ah. Well, as I've said, I did some of the work in your stead, Doctor."

Oskar beams back at her. "Indeed. You may have very well saved the princess's life, Your Majesty."

She is surprised at his lack of questions following that statement. Elsa smiles back at him tremulously and looks to her sister.

Oskar chuckles before nervously broaching the topic she knew needed to be discussed. "Still, I'm… afraid the severity of the wound does necessitate amputation, Your Majesty. She will lose most of her forearm."

Elsa's eyes drift shut and she steels herself. "I trust your judgement, Doctor Thomsen."

He nods, setting up his work station.

Just then, she hears huffs of exertion as a familiar snowman clambers over the ship's handrail, falling with a small wet thump onto the deck. "Olaf!" Elsa can see the distressed state of him, snowmelt dripping onto the deck as he patters over to her.

"Elsa! Oh my goodness, I've been looking everywhere! I found Kristoff like you said to do!" He's bouncing as he talks and his feet plop wetly every time he lands. "And I met the most wonderful school of fish! They didn't see me, but they looked so happy to be together. I bet it's nice not to feel so cold now that summer has returned." His smile is wide and genuine. His carrot nose droops.

"Hold on, little one." Chuckling softly and grateful for the distraction, Elsa waves her hand idly, creating a permanent cloud of snow above the creature.

"My own personal flurry!" He giggles and dances around the deck, no longer dripping with every step. As he pirouettes, his wide eyes seem to spot Anna for the first time since he last left her side, pained and agonized on the fjord. His head stops spinning. His body doesn't. He rights himself slowly, face shifting into a look of fear and concern. "Anna?"

Elsa's mirth evaporates as quickly as it had bubbled up, and she's solemn when she addresses the little creature. "Olaf, Anna will need a little while longer to recover." Elsa decides it best not to be overly detailed in her explanation.

"Can we still play together? I mean, when she gets better? She gives such warm hugs." Olaf sounds so hopeful, and Elsa suppresses a fresh sob.

"I'm sure she'd love nothing more," Elsa replies, false cheer ringing hollow to her ears. Her fear and uncertainty return as she thinks about the future. Anna's future. Her recovery will be long, and she prays that her little sister never loses the mischievous, rambunctious, spontaneous spirit she's had since childhood.

For a while, during their separation, Elsa was worried about this very thing. She could hear how much more dejected and forlorn Anna had become with each and every hopeful visit to her door. It ate Elsa up inside that her failures as a sister were robbing Anna of a normal, happy childhood.

Until one morning, shortly after breakfast, she went to the window to conduct her studies. Sitting there, wrapped up in her work, she idly glanced out of the window down into the grassy courtyard. There, under that magnificent oak tree, she saw her. Just barely eight years old, little Anna was attempting, again and again, to wrap her arms around the enormous trunk in an ultimately fruitless attempt to climb it. For over an hour, Elsa watched, cheering silently for her sister. She saw the look of determination in Anna's eyes when she got back up after a fall. The triumphant smiles that would light up her face whenever she made substantial progress. It was all so… wonderful. It made her heart ache for the days when they would play near the pond for hours, Anna chasing frightened little ducklings and Elsa trying to placate the mother with promises of fresh bread.

She had begun crying then, softly and silently. She missed her sister so, and it was both the greatest pleasure and the darkest torture to watch Anna from her window. Because Elsa  _knew_ Anna would be okay without her. She would always push on, create her own luck, and overcome any obstacle. Elsa… wasn't needed. Even if Anna wanted her sister's company - wanted it so deeply that Elsa hated herself for denying her - Elsa knew her baby sister wouldn't simply be fine without her. No, in actual fact, she would  _thrive_.

"...and then I thought we could have a picnic under a tree! For some reason I keep thinking about how wonderful that would be. Don't you think so, Elsa?" Olaf looks at her, innocent eyes expectant.

Elsa gathers herself, smiling fondly at the snowman.  _She'll be fine. I know she will._ "Why yes, Olaf. It sounds like a lovely idea."

He grins, eyes closed, his little twig hands coming together as he giggles.

Elsa gives him another glance before she turns her attention back to Anna. She's still asleep, and the doctor is finishing up his treatment of the injured area, preparing for amputation. She sees an ugly bone saw lying next to him as he tends to her sister, and she hunches her shoulders, hand to her mouth, brow creased with worry once again.

"And you're sure this is the right course of action, Doctor?" She says, entirely aware of the uselessness of the question.

"Quite sure, Your Majesty. Not to worry, Princess Anna will be made as comfortable as possible during the procedure. I'd say I'd stake my life on it, although…" He trails off with nervous laughter.

"Do not worry about such things. I know you'll do your level best to make sure she receives the care she needs." She smiles at him, then looks away, back to Anna's sweat-soaked face. "At any rate, the threat of death hanging over you does no good for Anna, and that is my only concern at the moment."

Oskar nods once to himself. "Regardless, I will not fail Her Highness. Nor you, Your Majesty." He grabs a brown vial of liquid. "We need to get her to ingest this."

"Laudanum?" Elsa hazards a guess. She smiles upon recalling Anna's humor surrounding the subject. In any other situation, Elsa would have paled at the joke, but her sister has always had a knack for appropriate impropriety.

"Quite right, Your Majesty! This will diminish the senses to such a degree that, should she wake up during the process, the most discomfort she would feel would be a dull throb." He grimaces as he continues, "Though it should be obvious that her current state is…  _preferred…_ for this procedure." He uncorks the vial and gestures to Elsa. "If you would be so kind as to assist me, Your Majesty?" Upon seeing her swift nod, he says, "We just need to hold her jaw open enough to pour a modest, precise amount down her throat. I'll need you to hold her just… so." He demonstrates with a gentle hand on Anna's jaw, and Elsa maintains that position. "And hold her there as still as you possibly can. We don't want this to reach her lungs."

Elsa nods diligently, brows scrunched in concentration. "Understood, Doctor." She drowns out her own self-doubt and fear with thoughts of future moments with her beloved sister. Maybe a picnic under that great Oak tree, as Olaf had so clairvoyantly suggested.

Oskar sighs. "Perfect! The correct dose is administered, and her body should start feeling dull and sluggish quite quickly."

Elsa watches Anna gulp the medicine down unconsciously. In the back of her mind, Elsa remembers reading about the potentially addictive properties of the substance.

A long road to recovery indeed.

"Your Majesty, you may wish to look away for this. It will be a gruesome sight."

"I will not. Is there any way I can assist further?" Elsa's tone is short. Commanding. "If not, then I will observe. I will not obstruct, but I will not leave her side."

"Truly?" He seems taken aback at this, before gathering himself again, clearing his throat. "My apologies once again, Your Majesty. However, before we discuss how you can assist, we'll need some way to arrange safe transport for the princess, preferable as soon as the procedure is completed."

"I can do that!" Kristoff almost shouts. Elsa had honestly forgotten about the man in all of the commotion.

He's already over the handrail before Elsa stops him. "Kristoff, wait!" She quickly composes a letter requesting a royal guard for a transport from sea. Stamped with the royal seal, she turns to the doctor." "Your signature, Oskar. My… authority may still be in question. Corroboration may hasten their arrival." She resolves to implement new systems of verification soon. She cannot have her command - or Anna's, she realizes - being doubted at every turn.

With the message signed, she hands it to an antsy Kristoff. "Make sure this reaches a castle guard. Each one of them is trained for precisely this situation, and the response will be immediate. As before, answer any questions with total and thorough honesty. Anna's safety depends on this, Kristoff."

He straightens at this and nods once, expression solemn. "Yes, Your Majesty." He glances at Anna, and there is pain in his eyes.

Having learned his lesson last time, he gathers himself and bolts for the side of the ship, Olaf in his arms. "Come on, buddy! Sven needs some company, and Anna needs her privacy, all right?"

"Okay, Sven. Bye, Anna! Bye Elsa! Bye Scary Man With a Saw!"

"Oh!, uh- G-goodbye, Olaf." Oskar sputters. When they've both disappeared over the side of the ship, Oskar looks at her, questioning.

"I think we can trust them. More importantly, Anna already does," Elsa states simply.

With that, the matter is settled.

"I understand, Your Majesty. Now, I believe you asked if there were any other ways you could assist?"

"That's right. I'll do whatever is necessary."

"That is wonderful news! There is the matter of… cauterization," Oskar trails off delicately.  
Elsa's brow darts up in shock. Surely the doctor had a plan for this? "Yes?" She responds, jaw tense.

"O-of course there is the standard procedure of using a hot iron. I can certainly employ that method with no difficulties, however the pain will be…  _intense_  during the healing process. Normally it's a reality that we must simply endure, but your… gift… offers a better solution." His expression is wary. Guarded.

Her eyes narrow and she speaks plainly. "Do you fear me, Oskar? My  _gift?_ " The word is like bile on her tongue.

Oskar releases a bark of laughter far too large for such a small man. "Fear you? But of course! You are my liege. You could command my death at a moment's notice. The power you possess does not inform my fear or respect. What matters to me is how you choose to wield it." His expression softens and he stares at her, unflinching. "Your power can and has caused untold damage and endangered many, but I also know you've returned the summer season to Arendelle, and I know you've saved your sister's life. As far as I'm concerned, in time, your power will be a blessing. I pray it always remains so."

Elsa's composure slips in the face of his trust and acceptance. "You're a good man, Oskar."

"All we can do is try, Your Majesty."

"Indeed." Elsa's smile is warm. Looking back down at Anna, she schools her expression, hand resting on her sister's upper arm. "I am ready, Doctor."

"Then, we begin." Oskar says.

Anna murmurs then, and Elsa's heart hammers.

"Not to worry, Your Majesty. She is quite asleep." Oskar's voice is gentle. Without further preamble, he begins sawing into Anna's flesh, a mere two centimeters above where the wound begins to taper off. The tourniquet had been tightened earlier, but Elsa's magic flows beneath reddened skin, once again slowing the flow of blood. She focuses on trying to encompass the wound, her ice branching out. She cools and numbs the flesh. She can sense a sharp, shooting pain, dulled at her touch, and she smiles brokenly. Through some miracle, she is able to help mitigate her sister's pain, but Anna's hand - and now even more of her - has been taken away, because of her own selfish inaction. It's a small consolation to be of some use to her now.

Oskar's saw is slow and steady, and he explains, "We mustn't rush, Your Majesty. The more precise and cautious we are now, the easier the recovery process will be for the princess."

"Y-yes, of course." Elsa's occasional worried glances between the saw and Anna's sleeping face had not gone unnoticed, then. "Forgive me, I'm simply a mess of worry. It's the consequence of being an elder sister," she smiles weakly.

Oskar chuckles, and the absurdity of the situation hits her with full force. Without some form of levity to distract her, Elsa would have surely gone insane by now.

"Your Majesty, do you know," Oskar says, eyes wide in realization, "that with the flow of blood slowed to such a degree, the process of litigating the blood vessels would be trivial?" He sounds… excited. An odd man.

"Litigating?" The word is familiar to Elsa's ear, but not in a medical context.

"Yes! Tying off the blood vessels to stop the loss of blood. With your gift, the work is simple, and according to my research, the results are far preferable to any form of cauterization alone."

"Your Majesty…" He seems to consider his words carefully, glancing furtively at Elsa.

"Speak plainly, Oskar. Formalities are burdensome at the present moment."

"Yes. Well. I do believe that your gift interacts with Princess Anna in quite an interesting way. However… we do not know the full, long-term effects. She could develop… frostbite." Oskar trips over himself to continue when he sees Elsa's worried frown. "B-but we do not know this for sure! My only point is this: we should be cautious about relying on your gift for a permanent procedure such as this. Slowing the flow of blood is a boon, but going further… I see the ice on her destroyed blood vessels, Your Majesty. It was an ingenious solution, but I'm concerned about her recovery, and the possibility that the permanence of the procedure could be called into question."

Elsa's eyes shift back to Anna's brow, damp with sweat. She runs a cool hand over it. "You are a very skeptical man, Oskar." Her eyes do not leave Anna's face. Oskar's saw remains slow and steady, but he gasps, ready to apologize. This is all so much to deal with. "Do not take back your words, Doctor. In your field, skepticism is a virtue. I appreciate your candor, and it's plain to see that your only concern is Anna's welfare. As is mine. I've said it before, I place my trust in your judgement. Anna's future depends on getting this right. I am… glad… that you've enlightened me as to the risks of my magic's healing aspects. To be truthful, merely two hours prior, I had no notion of using my magic to heal others. It took my sister's cries of agony and unwavering acceptance for the idea to even take root in my mind as something I was capable of. I only want what is best for Anna. My ego does not matter, nor should it. You must do whatever you can to help her. I would sooner die than prevent that."

Her glare is ice, and Oskar visibly shivers at the drop in ambient temperature. "You have my solemn assurance, Your Majesty. Recovery will be difficult, but this entire procedure is fairly routine. And with your… magic," There's an odd stress on the word and Elsa winces, "Slowing the flow of blood, it makes the job so much safer."

"Does it?" Elsa asks, hopeful.

"Yes, indeed, Your Majesty! I am already nearly finished with the sawing, and then it's a simple matter of tying off the blood vessels and suturing the wound shut." He sounds amazed. "Princess Anna is an absolutely wonderful patient, and your assistance has spared her so much agony in the present as well as the future. She is fortunate to have such a resourceful sister to look after her." He smiles broadly.

Elsa returns it automatically. The guilt and shame of her past failures are still present, gnawing at her subconscious, but she allows herself a small measure of pride. Anna will be alright. Her self-loathing can be pushed aside for the moment. She has fulfilled her duty, finally, as an elder sister should.

Elsa's fingers stroke through Anna's fringe of red hair gently. "I can assure you Oskar, between the both of us, I am the more fortunate one." Her smile is fond and eyes gentle as she peers down at her little sister. Elsa marvels at her. She is so small and frail, yet so,  _so_  strong.

"We're nearly there, Your Majesty! Just… need to... " He trails off, concentration unwavering as he carefully twines some thread around each major blood vessel. It's painstaking work in the summer sun, and sweat drips from his creased forehead. Elsa waves a few fingers and a gentle winter breeze blows past them. He sighs gratefully. Moments later, with the excess skin pulled taut over the clean wound, Doctor Thomsen sutures it with remarkable speed and precision. A final wipe of disinfectant and he releases a deep exhale, setting his tools beside him and looking over to the Queen. "A rousing success, Your Majesty. Barring any unforeseen complications, she will make a full recovery."

Elsa allows herself to smile openly. Unrestrained. Tears flow freely from her crinkled eyes and a burst of choked laughter bubbles forth. Her trembling hand strokes Anna's forehead and she just wants to gather her sister into her arms and never let go.

"I don't know how I could ever repay you for what you've done, Oskar. You've… saved the both of us." Elsa's voice is thick with emotion.

"Your Majesty," he replies gently, "It is my honor to be of assistance."

"May I… speak candidly, Your Majesty?" His glance shifts to the side, and his expression softens further upon hearing Elsa's murmur to continue.

"I have cared for the prin-  _Anna_ since she was a child. Always the troublemaker, but with the most stubborn and willful heart of anyone I have ever known." His brown eyes, deep with the wisdom of half a lifetime, regard her with a look of relief. "It brings me  _such_ joy to see the two of you reunited at last. You were all she ever talked about, Your Majesty, at least in my presence. Always asking about your health and smiling with delight - and no small dose of skepticism - when I informed her that you were doing well."

Elsa's hand falters as it strokes Anna's brow, and she brings it to her chest. "I… should not be surprised, and yet she manages to leave me feeling so with a startling regularity."

Oskar smiles widely then, eyes focused on his tools and materials as he stows them in his bag. "She really is a wonder, the princess."

"She is." Elsa's eyes are back to Anna's serene expression as she nods, tears forming yet again. She chuckles to herself as she leans in. "I must be mad," she murmurs softly into the space between them, laying a soft kiss on her sister's forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work continues! The next chapter brings us back to the present - a good seven months following these last two chapters. I have quite a few things planned for the sisters. Angst, adventure, romance, politics (oh god), sexual tension (eventually)… and even Fluff!
> 
> Hold onto your butts!


	4. Forgiveness

" _I know I've been stubborn and closed off since this whole thing started. I feel like I have no right to say this, but… Elsa, the guilt in your eyes breaks my heart."_

The sun is just beginning to slip into the darkened room, and Anna has already been awake for hours.

Elsa's warmth surrounds her as she nestles into the crook of her sister's neck. Her words have been hanging in the air for several minutes now, and the tension is starting to get to her.

"Elsa?" Her sister's been a world away, if that unfocused gaze is any indication. Anna starts to worry she's said something wrong until Elsa finally speaks.

Anna manages to hide her surprised squeak behind a cough. And then another.

"-Anna, do you need a drink? I'll-"

"No! Um, I mean-" A steadying breath. "I'm fine. Please, continue." Her voice is still higher than she'd like but things are essentially under control. _A first._

 

Elsa's worried glance leaves Anna feeling sheepish, but she mercifully ignores her little sister's silliness. "I was saying, Anna, that while my guilt may never leave the back of my mind, my primary concern is _you._ So, I was apologizing. Or attempting to, in my own clumsy way. The past is behind us, and I have learned from it. Fear and self doubt are dangerous for me. I can't lose myself like that again. I won't."

"Elsa that's- No, you're _human!_ You're allowed to feel afraid. O-or unsure. You are so hard on yourself and it's the guilt that drives it. I've watched you. You're so cautious and you shouldn't need to be. You can throw a snowball at my face or pull me into a hug or chase me around the courtyard… Okay maybe those are silly examples for a queen but-"

Elsa is smiling now, and Anna tries to remain steadfast. "I.. know that it's hard, having a sister who seems so delicate. And I know that my condition has frustra-"

"Anna-"

"Let me finish, Elsa." She cuts across the reply with a flash of her eyes, unwilling to let this continue. "It _has_ frustrated you. You never show it, because you're _perfect,_ but I see the exhaustion in your eyes and the I hear the sighs when I whimper while you think I'm asleep." _Stop._ "Yet your hand is always there, soothing me. How is this arrangement fair to you?" Her lips are trembling but she presses on. "Do you think this is your punishment? Your atonement?" _Stop._ "Is that why you never complain?" _Stop, now!_ "Is that why you… Is this why I get to have you in my life? If this," she brings her scarred arm into clear view, "hadn't happened, would we still-"

"ANNA!" She's in tears, Anna realizes. "Is that what you think?! All these months, I've tried so hard to make you understand how much you mean to me - how wonderful you are - and you think that I…"

"Els-" Her stomach tumbles and she _hates_ herself in this moment.

"It has _never_ been a punishment or an obligation to be in your company. Not once have I desired to be anywhere but by your side. Thirteen _years_ of isolation from the one I care most about… all those years of pain and loneliness for us both, and yet I end up hurting you anyway? Of course I feel guilty! You've gone through so much anguish because of me, and even when I think I'm helping I just…" Elsa trails off with broken sobs.

Furious with herself, Anna pulls her sister into her arms. Her scars are throbbing but she refuses to pay them any mind. "My God, Elsa, I am so sorry! I don't- That was horrible of me. It's my own stupid insecurities, they just… They eat at me and I try to suppress them but-" She groans at herself, disgusted by the inadequacy of her apology. "Elsa, you've done _nothing_ wrong." She cups her sister's cheek and feels an immeasurable sense of relief when Elsa leans into the touch. Her thumb brushes away the icy tears. "Please, forgive me? I have no excuse for what I said... I trust you with all my heart. I always will."

Elsa's shuddering breath grasps her heart, twisting and tugging and she refuses to ever let this happen again.

Her sister's head shakes slightly against her chest and she feels the cool grip of her fingers on her nightclothes. "Oh Anna, of course I forgive you." Her voice is raspy and deep and Anna feels another pang of heartache for causing this. "I've got so much time to make up for, and it's not so simple to undo the damage of our childhood. Every time you came to my door, I wanted to let you in. I-" She looks up at Anna, her eyes shining. "I wanted it so badly and I just _couldn't._ My mistakes, my fears… they forced us apart and… and I let you think I had no need of you! It would have been so easy- so _simple_ in hindsight to just explain things to you, but I was always afraid… You trusted me and I put you in harm's way." She looks away again, as though ashamed. "And, over the years I began to realize, it wasn't just that one time. Every single moment that I let myself feel uninhibited, I was putting you in danger. What happened seemed… inevitable in retrospect, and that thought sickened me. _Poisoned_ me."

Anna was so close to the answers she's sought for years, yet she can't look past the crushing weight that Elsa had been forced to bear all this time. The unfairness of it… what could she have possibly done to deserve this? It doesn't even matter to her. Anna just wants her sister to be free of this awful guilt. "Elsa… We were kids! Whatever happened, I forgive you. I'll forgive you a thousand times if that's what it takes. You-" Suddenly, things begin to click into place. _Uninhibited. Danger. Inevitable._

_Fear._

"The gloves…" Anna breathes. Elsa's eyes are wide and she looks like a cornered animal, trapped after a grueling chase. "Whenever- I mean, after you and I were separated, whenever I'd manage to catch a glimpse of you," Anna flushes with embarrassment as she recalls just how many times she tried to climb that stupid tree in the courtyard. _Why was it so big?_ "You were always wearing those gloves. A-and that night at the ball, when I-" She feels ill. Is _this_ why they both suffered for so long? "When I tore the glove from your hand, and your magic flared, you were so afraid… Oh, _Elsa."_ Anna lifts her hand from her own heart to stroke Elsa's cheek once again.

Her sister flinches like she's about to be struck and Anna's heart shatters. The temperature of the room plummets and the crackling sound of ice forming can be heard all around them. She feels the tears fall down her cheeks, hugging her sister so tightly that her arm feels like it's on fire _._ She doesn't care. "Shh, Elsa, it's all right. I've got you." Elsa's breathing is fast and panicked. Snow whips around the room and Anna draws the covers over them both, sealing them from the rest of the world. "Please, it's okay! I promise... I will _never_ be afraid of you. No matter what happened in the past, or whatever may come, you don't ever have to worry. You have nothing to fear anymore. What happened back then… it was an accident, wasn't it? That's why you were locked away?" Her sister's eyes dart wildly, looking for an escape. "Elsa, look at me. Just focus on my face. Deep breaths, okay? I'm not in danger. You don't have to run."

Anna's teeth are chattering and she clenches her jaw hard. Her sister whimpers and tries to apologize. "It's just a bit of cold. I'm not leaving you." Through gritted teeth, her words sound assertive. Confident. She's glad for the small blessing. "We're okay, Elsa. We're both okay. There's no danger. We're safe."

She whispers it like a mantra in Elsa's ear. Over and over as she feels her sister's breathing begin to slow. "We're safe. We're _safe,_ Elsa." She grabs a cold hand and places it over her chest. Her heart is thudding madly. Strong and steady, though faster than she'd like. "I'm okay, Els. Can you feel it? I'm all right." Her words are soft in her sister's ear and she swears she feels the queen of the ice and snow shudder in her arms. Her fingers trace soothing circles between tense shoulder blades and she lays them both back down gently. Elsa's face is buried against her chest and Anna hears her mutter repeated apologies under her breath. Anna brings her hand around and lifts her sister's chin, eyes bright as she stares back into hers. "You have _nothing_ to apologize for. You're always there for me. Let me be here for you. Please?"

Elsa nods shakily. She lifts a hand and twirls it, and the temperature of the room begins to rise, slowly. The sun is shining through the curtains and Elsa opens them with a gust of air. Light and warmth pour into the bedchamber, and the North Mountain can be seen clearly through the scattered morning snow showers.

Anna watches her as she stares out the window. Her brow is furrowed and she looks like she's lost in thought. Anna aches to know what is going through her sister's mind, but she knows after this ordeal, Elsa needs a moment to herself. Feeling the onset, she shifts and brings her hand from Elsa's shoulder to her flaring pains with a small hiss.

Elsa looks down at her sister with alarm. "H-how is your arm, Anna? I'm so sorry." Elsa places a cool hand over the angry scar and tries to soothe her sister's pain.

_Can't I give her a minute's peace?_

"It's all right, Elsa. Really. We should get ready for the day. I believe I was promised a snowman?" She forces some cheer into her wavering voice, trying to look ahead to the fun day they'd planned together weeks ago. It's the tail-end of winter, and they had both decided to try and make the most of it.

Elsa smiles uncertainly at her, reluctant to release Anna's arm as the younger sister sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed.

"I promise, I really am fine. A nice soak will do me some good, I think. Then breakfast? Gerda tells me we have a fresh batch of krumkake!" Anna grins and it must be infectious because Elsa is beaming back at her.

She sighs, and it sounds like a weight being lifted. "That sounds heavenly, Anna. I think I could use a soak too. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely, Your Majesty," Anna replies with an embellished curtsy.

Elsa's brow is furrowed. "Anna…"

"Go bathe!" Anna laughs. "First one to the baths gets the last krumkake! I hear there's chocolate drizzle..."

Elsa's eyes widen at that, and Anna's laughter rings out as she races past.

Whipping around, Elsa chases after her, running toward the shared bathing room. "Cheater!"

"How?!" Comes the indignant reply. Anna nearly trips over herself to look back at her sister, hand to her chest in a show of mock offense. "I play fair at all times, your Majesterialness."

"Anna, you cheated at chess just the other day. And Olaf was losing anyway!" Elsa sidesteps a harassed looking maid and she turns to apologize before bolting after Anna yet again.

"How do you even- You were supposed to be reviewing those trade agreements with Corona and Avalor!" Anna's smile was wide and the ache in her chest was gone for the moment. It felt… perfect.

"I was finished by the time your second match was ending," Elsa replies, and she sounds closer than before.

Anna stops at the entrance to the bathing room, breathless. In the back of her mind, she acknowledges the pains flaring up and down her arm, but she's just having way too much fun to deal with reality right now. She spins around and presses her back against the door and places her hand on the knob as Elsa comes charging around the corner, eyes focused on her goal.

Slowing to a stop just a bit too late, Elsa bounds through the now-open doorway to the bathhouse and Anna laughs, loud and bright. "Looks like we have our winner!" She walks calmly up behind her sister and places her hand on a heaving shoulder. "It's been months and I _still_ forget how competitive you can be sometimes." Anna circles her with a flourish and winks. "Enjoy that last krumkake," she grins, knowing full well Elsa will offer it to her anyway.

"What? No, you won! You got here first." Elsa looks positively perplexed.

Anna smiles privately. _Knew it._ "No, you entered the room first. That was the deal." Elsa grumbles and Anna's heart soars. "We'll split it, okay?"

"But it's yours."

"Yeah, but I love you. So you'll take your half and you'll smile while you eat it!"

She looks taken aback. "All right, Anna," she replies, cheeks pinked. Anna rolls her eyes with a smirk.

"Wonderful! Now that that's settled," she sighs as she takes in the humid heat of the chamber, steam wafting from two of the several large marble tubs that line the walls, "it's time for a nice soak. I really worked up quite a sweat!" Anna flashes her sister a wide grin and Elsa looks away, nodding unevenly.

"Yes, a bath sounds lovely right now," Elsa says, voice muffled as she scurries behind the divider separating the two tubs. She quickly undresses and slips into the warm water with a groan. Water spills out the sides of the tub and Anna looks on nervously.

"You okay, Els?"

"Hmm? Oh- Yes, Anna." She clears her throat. "You should hop in the bath. The water feels amazing."

Anna swallows and walks over to her own tub, peeling off her sweaty nightgown and stepping out of her underthings. Her arm throbs insistently and she dips a foot in to test the water. "Ah! Hot… Too hot," she mutters.

"Anna? Here, I'll-" A small flurry surrounds Anna's tub and the fat snowflakes kiss her nose gently. "There. Try it now," Elsa says.

Anna slides her foot back into the tub and sighs with relief when she feels the comforting prickling of heat that's almost too warm. Exactly how she likes it. "It's perfect, Elsa. Thank you."

"Of course," she says.

Anna hears the smile in her sister's voice as she lowers herself into the delightfully hot bath. When she submerges her arm beneath the rippling water, she groans at the sharp pain that quickly evaporates into the almost comforting dull ache that she's become accustomed to.

"Feeling better?" Elsa asks. "I've been speaking with Doctor Thomsen and he believes he may have a lead on a new treatment to try to help with the pain. We can discuss it with him later, if you like?"

 _How does she always know?_ "Later. Sure." Anna sighs to herself, annoyance flaring up within her. More than the loss of her hand, it's the control that this pain has had over her life that has caused her the most grief. And Elsa… _She's been wonderful about it, but it has to be taking its toll, despite her assurances to the contrary._

Anna just wants a single day where her stupid, useless limb isn't dictating their time together.

"And yes, it feels much better now," Anna says, too late for her liking. "Thank you."

"There's no need to thank me, Anna. It's no trouble whatsoever. I'm always grateful that I can help soothe your pain, even indirectly."

Anna's heart swells at her sister's voice echoing in the quiet bath. Time and time again, Elsa catches her off guard. Sweet, tender words spoken with such softness, as though whispered in secret. Something private, meant only for them.

"Still… Thank you," she murmurs into the comfortable silence.

The sounds of sloshing water and gentle humming lull Anna into a deep relaxation. She smiles wide when she recognizes the melody flowing from Elsa's lips. _Do you wanna build a snowman?_ Thoughts of her childhood, before the separation, spring up within her mind. They were both so happy then.

 _And now?_ "I really do. Speaking of which, have you seen Olaf lately?"

Elsa laughs brightly, and the sound leaves Anna feeling flushed.

"You know, because he's a snowman! And also I miss… doing that with you," she trails off quietly, her confidence evaporating as quickly as it had come.

"I didn't expect you to pick up on it, is all. I didn't think you could hear me," Elsa replies comfortingly. A moment later, she adds, "I miss it too. So much."

Anna sniffles, her voice tentative. Hopeful. "Well, w-we have all the time in the world now."

"Yes," Elsa says. "We do." It's spoken with reverence. A sacred promise.

Anna's breath is shaky, and she realizes in that moment - that one silly, small moment - the depth of the love Elsa has for her. She feels like a fool, and it makes her angry at herself for all of the doubt and self-hatred. She wants to jump out of the bath and embrace her. Hold her close and reaffirm this connection she feels with her perfect, wonderful older sister.

But that would be crazy.

"As for Olaf," Elsa says suddenly, "I haven't seen him for a couple of days now. I believe he told me he was going with Sven and Kristoff to the North Mountain."

Anna's heart is still hammering from Elsa's voice intruding on her thoughts, but she calms herself enough to participate in the conversation. "He probably wants to see his sister. It's been… what, two months now?" She sighs heavily. "I just hope they're getting along this time."

"I'm sure they are. Marshmallow just enjoys her solitude, and Olaf was so excited when he found out he had a sibling that he may have overextended Marshmallow's… generous hospitality."

Anna releases a bark of laughter, the irony catching her by surprise as she recalls her first meeting with the hulking beast.

Her sister goes silent once more, and Anna's ready to curse herself until she hears Elsa stand up from the tub, water flowing under the cloth divider separating the pair. She walks over to the pillar of shower heads in the middle of the room and Anna averts her eyes. _Don't be weird. Elsa thinks nothing of it, so why don't you?_

"Anna…" She begins, tentatively. "What do you think about going with me on a trip to the North Mountain?"

Her eyes widen and she can feel those blue eyes on her but she refuses to look away from her suddenly fascinating kneecaps. "The North Mountain?" She fails to hide her shock. "You want me to go? I mean, w-with you?

"Yes, that's right. I… would love to share it with you. The last time you saw it, there wasn't any opportunity for you to-" She collects herself with a sigh. "I was a poor host, and I'd love to make it up to you. I am proud of what I built, even if the circumstances were…" She clears her throat after a pause. "...and I think you would really enjoy seeing the palace."

"Elsa, I would love to!" Anna was smiling so wide she thought her cheeks would burst. _She wants me to see her palace! It's something she built for herself alone and she wants_ me _to see it! Oh my gosh and we get to go on a trip together! I hope we're just walking. I could pack supplies and we could camp out under the stars and-_

 

"Anna?"

Her mind is racing as she imagines the possibilities. _I could finally show her how much I've improved! My arm is doing so much better now than it had been even a month ago. I could finally be of use to the kingdom._

_I could be useful to her!_

The thought filled her with such joy and anxiety that she had trouble suppressing the squeal that threatened to spill out. She's pretty sure she managed, though.

"Anna!" Elsa chuckles as she tries again to get her attention.

 _Guess not._ "Yes, Elsa?" She replies brightly.

"What do you think about leaving in two week's time, to avoid coinciding with the upcoming trade negotiations with the kingdom of Avalor? We would likely manage just a couple of days to ourselves, but that is more than enough time for me to show you the palace." Anna hears the squeak of the faucet and the room becomes silent once more. Elsa's gentle voice echoes all around her. _Within_ her. "There's a room tucked away in the southwest corner that gives you an incredible view of the constellations. The reflections in the icy walls are absolutely mesmerizing." A pause. "You so loved stargazing when we were children." The fondness in her voice is unmistakable.

Anna turns to look at her, and she feels something that _should_ be relief when she notices her sister has slipped into a light morning dress. "Elsa, that sounds..." She can't find the words. She can barely breathe. Just the description alone is enough to spellbind her. She can't imagine how she'll handle the real thing.

Chuckling softly, Elsa steps over to the doorway. She rests a hand on the frame and speaks over her shoulder, "When you're finished, come meet me for breakfast. We can discuss it further."

With a wave of an elegant hand, a shock of cold travels down Anna's spine. It's gone in an instant, but the resulting squeal can be heard from the kitchens.

Anna casts a playful glare at the now empty doorway. _She will pay for this unwarranted act of aggression!_

She smiles to herself while she finishes her bath and hums as she shrugs into her dress. Her grin remains, full and free, and she makes her way to the dining hall with a spring in her step.

Elsa is waiting, and Anna hates to disappoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reads my dumb words. Just people taking the time to read or leave a comment humbles me so much. I hope you've enjoyed it so far! <3


	5. Impulse

As she works out a suitable reprisal for Elsa's affront to her very dignity as a princess, Anna decides to enter the dining hall by way of the kitchens.

The counters are coated in flour and grease stains as the chefs work doubletime to prepare what seems to be a small feast. _Are the servants finally joining us for regular meals? I remember Elsa being receptive to the idea when I brought it up, but I haven't heard more on the subject in weeks._

"Ah, mornin' Princess!" A large man stoops behind a counter, alternately kneading dough and flouring his work surface with effortless precision. His eyes twinkle as Anna smiles back at him.

"Good morning, Fredrik!" She looks around, perplexed by the bustling activity on such a routine day. "What's going on?"

"Queen's orders. Can't say much more than that, I'm afraid." He winks, and Anna's eyes narrow.  _How suspicious… Just what is Elsa planning?_

"I suppose I could be persuaded to accept that explanation in exchange f-" Anna's eyes go wide when Fredrik surreptitiously slides a small plate of butter cookies across the counter. "Is that chocolate dipping sauce?" She asks excitedly.

He nods, "With a hint of almond extract!"

Anna gathers herself, chin held high as she regards the man before her. "You are forgiven."

"You are too kind, Your Highness." He bows deeply, hands somehow still working the dough at a feverish pace. The act at once both impressive and comical. When he rights himself, the corners of his eyes are crinkled in a barely contained smile.

Anna's laughter bubbles forth as his mustache twitches. "Thank you, Fredrik," she says between giggles. She pops a cookie into her mouth before grabbing the plate and trotting toward the dining hall. She sets the plate down on a small table - Elsa had them placed beside every door shortly after Anna's injury - and twists the doorknob, scooping the plate back up and striding through the doorway to see her sister smiling softly at her.

Beside her, a haggard looking Kristoff sits, fidgeting with a napkin. Her stomach lurches and she feels the pinpricks of shame and anxiety on the back of her neck.

"Anna! I see you've spoken with Fredrik," Elsa says, glancing at the plate in Anna's hand.

She stands there, eyes wide and trained on Kristoff.

He rubs the back of his neck and smiles crookedly. "Hey, Anna. Fancy meeting you here." His smile has a small edge to it.

She hasn't seen him in weeks, and she expected him to remain absent for at least another… lifetime?  _He's pretty great at staying away when he wants to, and boy does it look like he'd rather be anywhere else right now._

"Hello, Kristoff." She clears her throat and desperately searches for something to say as she moves to the large table, taking a seat next to Elsa. Her sister is looking at her curiously but she manages to press on, "Did Olaf ever find you? Um, Elsa told me he went up the mountain hoping to meet up with you and Sven."

"Yes!" He almost shouts, grateful for the seemingly harmless topic. "I mean, yes, he met up with us as we were heading back down. He mentioned visiting his sister… I think he meant that big monster up in the cas-"

"Her name is Marshmallow," Anna cut in, and a pang of unwelcome annoyance stikes her.  _Why am I always like this with him?_

"Uh, sorry. Marshmallow. Anyway, he's probably on his way up as we speak. Sven turned back to the mountain as soon as we unloaded the ice. He'll have company, if you're worried about his safety."

Anna simply nods, chewing another cookie and staring at a knot in the table. Elsa's eyes are on her and she feels Kristoff's stare as well.  _This is so awkward. Why didn't I just explain things to Elsa when she asked about him?_  Her heart aches as she imagines how excited Elsa must have been for this surprise to be revealed.  _My reaction was totally uncalled for. If I'm going to keep things from her, the least I could do is appreciate her thoughtfulness. It's not like she can read my mind._

_I really am an idiot._

She forces a smile as she looks up. "We're grateful." It turns genuine when she adds, "Elsa and I worry about him sometimes, but we know you two care about him. Thank you, Kristoff."

Elsa stares at her a moment more before collecting herself, addressing the man. "Yes, we can't begin to convey what a relief it is to know that he's looked after, even as he regularly wanders away from the castle."

"He can certainly find trouble with ease," Kristoff replies, turning to Elsa, and his smile is slightly weary, "But he's good company. A little too naive, though."

Kristoff glances at Anna, and she bristles. She glares daggers at him and she wants to ask what exactly he means by that, but she controls herself. "He's just a child," she replies, jaw clenched.  _Stop looking for a hidden meaning, Anna. He probably meant nothing by it._

Elsa's hand on her shoulder startles her, and it's swiftly withdrawn. Still, Elsa's concerned gaze bores into her and she mouths the words 'Are you okay?'.

Anna nods jerkily and continues her train of thought, eyes back on Kristoff. "We're trying to teach him all we can. He just doesn't seem to understand consequences. Or rather…" She waves her hand idly, searching for the words. "Cause and effect? I'm not sure, but I do know that it's difficult to trust that he'll keep himself safe."  _That's right, stay on topic. There's no need to rehash any old arguments here. We're talking about Olaf. That's all. Just Olaf._

"Y-yes, exactly. That is why we're so thankful, Kristoff, because we know we can trust you," Elsa adds, and Anna notices that she looks a little anxious.

She reaches under the table for Elsa's hand, and is not surprised to feel both of them wringing together in her lap.  _She's probably desperate to ask what's wrong with me. I'm not sure where I could even begin._ She gently twines her pinky finger with Elsa's, and the small smile she receives causes her heart to skip a beat.  _But the way she looks at me… I want to tell her everything._

Just then, the kitchen doors swing open and at least a dozen members of the kitchen staff stream through, interrupting the tense affair with food-laden platters balanced on one hand.  _God bless our staff._

A short, distressed looking woman is carrying a bowl that looks far too large for her to manage and she nearly runs to the table before she can drop it.

"Silje, are you all right?" Anna asks, standing from her seat. Her arm flares but she hides her pained wince.

"Your Highness! Yes, I am fine." She quickly glances at Anna's arm, as though she can't help herself. "Please do not-"

Anna ignores the pang of self-consciousness. "Here, you can sit next to me. Enjoy some krumkake." She smiles at the blush on the woman's cheeks as she pulls out a chair for her.

"I-I don't…" The woman's eyes dart nervously to Elsa. She places a trembling hand on the back of the chair when the queen graces her with a nod.

"You are quite welcome to join us, Silje," Elsa's voice is calm and regal in an instant - as though the uncomfortable business of two minutes ago never happened - and she projects her next words throughout the great hall with startling clarity, "In fact, I'd like to make it clear that each and every one of you is welcome at our table this morning. My dear sister and I would be glad to have your company."

The warmth and affection she feels for Elsa in this moment manages to render Anna speechless.

She remembers how rigidly their father held to the old traditions. While he was never rude to the castle staff, he maintained a cool and distant working relationship with all of them, save for Kai and Gerda.

When Anna suggested this idea to her nearly a month ago, Elsa was at the time distracted by a mountain of paperwork - or so it had seemed. It appears she had taken the idea to heart after all.

As the hardworking staff members tentatively take their seats, Elsa taps her glass with a fork to call everyone's attention. When all eyes are on her - when Anna's eyes are locked onto her, taking in the arch of her brow and the gentle curve of her upturned lips - she continues, "I do not expect this small act of hospitality will do anything to change the difficult, tireless nature of your work. However I do hope that it demonstrates, in some small way, our appreciation for your impeccable service to the crown. Of course, my sister and I are both well aware that a feast such as this imposes an abnormal burden on kitchen staff, even as it is meant to symbolize our thanks. We are not so full of ourselves that we would believe a single meal with us, skillfully prepared by you yourselves, is a fair trade for hours of extra toil.

"And so, it is in the interest of fairness that from this point forward, you will be given an additional day of rest." There are a few pleased murmurs around the table. "As well as," she adds with a grin, "a raise of roughly eight percent."

_Eight percent? For the entire staff?!_ The murmurs give way to applause and jubilation.  _And an extra day to themselves? How on earth did Elsa convince the council to go along with this?_ Anna's admiration for her sister grows as she sits there, transfixed. She knows Elsa has an incredible mind for the minutiae of running a kingdom, but time and again she's surprised by the things Elsa manages to actually get  _done._  The planning, strategizing, and execution involved in something as simple as giving the staff a wage increase is certainly not for the faint of heart, but it seems to come so naturally to the her.

Anna stares openly at the calm regard of a queen sure of her rule. A woman well prepared for the accompanying responsibilities.

Yes, it's true. Anna's awe of her sister blooms brighter with each passing day.

"We hope this change reflects our immeasurable gratitude toward you and indeed toward the entirety of the castle staff." She takes Anna's hand, squeezing gently as she gazes at the smiling faces around the immense table. "We will not have any of you feeling unappreciated or undervalued in our service."

Anna feels the pinpricks of tears and she knows her eyes are shining, but she's only half certain she knows why. As she stares at her bowl of risgrøt, she feels a familiar, cool hand on her cheek. A thumb wipes away the gathering tears before Elsa pulls her chin gently.

Her eyes are just so  _intense…_

"Anna, is everything all right?" Elsa's voice is low under the din of the lively dining hall, but Anna hears every word. Feels it deep in her chest.

And it's like  _music_.

_I've gone insane. Truly and utterly insane._

She's felt something like this before. A pale shadow of the love she feels now. Desperate and cloying and  _ruinous._ She likes to think that she knows this road fairly well. The twists and turns of it. The moments of wonder as one rounds a bend to reveal a majestic, fleeting view.

And of course, the treacherous dead ends.

_But I don't know it, do I? I've traveled this road, but not once did I watch where I was going. If I pay attention this time, maybe I'll finally learn._

"Anna?"

Anna swallows roughly, nodding as she looks away. Her face feels warm and she prays her sister does not think anything is amiss, though she knows her behavior must seem odd. She clears her throat softly, and her voice comes out high and frenetic to her own ears. "I-I'm okay! Just… I hadn't imagined-" Words always seem to fail her these days. Her eyes fall to Kristoff. He's looking at her as though she's a particularly stubborn stain on his beloved sled, and she can't take the judgement in his eyes for one more second. "Please, excuse me. I think I need to-" As she stands abruptly, a hush falls over the room.  _Everyone's staring. You are embarrassing your queen. You need to go. Now.  
_

_Before something happens that cannot be undone._

"Wh- Anna? Wait!" The concern in Elsa's voice is like a lance through her heart as Anna runs from the hall, clutching her throbbing arm to her chest. She tears open the door and the familiar walls of the castle are a blur as she runs, searching for a refuge from her own traitorous mind. She rounds a corner, hard and fast.

"Y-your High-" The man tries to move to the side but Anna clips his shoulder and they both reel from the impact.

She twists but her momentum keeps moving her onward and she collapses in a heap, the scar on her arm feeling as though it will split open. She groans in agony, stubbornly clambering to her feet. She glances at the man, easily recognizable even through the shimmer of tears. "Sorry, Kai." Her voice is gravelly and low as her entire body clenches in pain. She gasps, holding back a sob.

"My goodness! Are you all right, ma'am?" When she nods frantically, he continues, "We should take you to Doctor Thomsen, o-or perhaps to the queen? Sh-"

"No!" Anna's own voice sounds as though it's coming from a great distance away, echoing through the halls. "The queen does not need to be bothered with this. I am  _fine._ "

"Forgive me, ma'am… but Her Majesty has ordered me-"

Her face sets to stone as she pushes the pain away. "That is enough, Kai. I am going to my room." She knows how terse she sounds and she hates it. Her eyes soften. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm okay. I apologize for the collision. Did I hurt you?" He quickly shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak, but she cuts him off, "If the queen asks, tell her I've gone to my room." Her body shakes with the effort of keeping herself together, but she keeps her eyes locked with his.  _I can't be here. I need to be alone._  "Please, tell her not to worry, all right?" She hides her grimace as the pain flares yet again. "Thank you, Kai." She turns without another word and leaves the man standing there, and she hopes her curt manner didn't make him feel as low as she does right now.

As her arm continues to burn, Anna sprints to her bed chamber, slamming the door shut behind her. She gasps, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stands there with her back against the door and her chest heaving with effort. The vicious spasms of muscles she knows she doesn't have cause her to cry out in frustration. Her legs begin to give out and she slides down to the floor, curling in on herself. She cradles her burning limb to her chest gently, as though it makes any difference at all.

_It'll pass. It always does. I just need to distract myself somehow._

She opens her eyes, staring down at the polished planks of her wooden floor while she idly massages her scar. A spark, violent and white hot, runs the length of her arm and straight into her chest. The pain is unbearable and she collapses forward, lying on the unforgiving floor. Pressure can provide relief, and so she squeezes her limb between her chest and her knees, trying to make herself as small as she can. Her breathing is labored and her eyes dart around the room.  _It's been this bad before. I can handle it._ Another shock through to her chest, and she slams her fist down hard. Her scream is muffled, she hopes, by her mouth clamped over her arm.

"Anna!" The shout is almost directly outside her door. "I'm coming in, all right?" The doorknob rattles and Elsa grunts in annoyance. "Did you lock- Never mind, are you clear of the door, Anna?"

Anna clears her throat and tries to assure her sister that things are under control. Instead, another spasm tears a shout from her lungs, short and violent.

"Anna, please! I am opening this door in five seconds. You need to be clear of it!" Elsa's voice is panicked.

_All I do is worry her. I need to be stronger than this._ "Elsa, I'm fine! You don-"

"Anna of Arendelle," Elsa cuts her off, shrill and indignant. "If you tell me once more that I have no need to worry, I will freeze your stubborn, bullheaded lips shut. Now  _make way for your queen!"_

And despite all of this, the dire situation, the agony, the anxiety, and the stress - Anna  _laughs._ Full-bellied and almost unencumbered by her frail state, she laughs even as her throat burns from the tears and tension. Even as a new pang of lightning threatens to turn her moment of joy into one of renewed anguish.

A groan of exasperation and suddenly, ice cracks the doorknob in two. The chunks of bronze clatter onto the floor and the door swings open to reveal an  _extremely_  upset elder sister.

For a brief, shining moment, Anna forgets her pain. Elsa's mouth is drawn into a deep frown and her brow is creased in anger. She stomps into the room and stares down at Anna, hands on her hips. "My sweet sister," she grinds out, and Anna has never seen Elsa so irate, "I've no choice but to assume that you have  _forgotten_ our discussion earlier this morning."

Anna gulps. "N-no, Elsa. I haven't-" She hisses in pain and Elsa is down beside her in an instant, her soothing touch providing such intense relief that Anna curls into her sister's embrace, whimpering lightly.

"Then  _what_  could have possibly possessed you to lie to me about the pain you were in? T-to run off and suffer on your own?!" Her eyes are shining but she may well be too angry to cry at the moment. At last, she breathes a heavy sigh and her shoulders slump. She looks utterly defeated as she gazes down at her. "What must I do? How can I prove-"

Anna pushes gently against Elsa's shoulder, creating distance and meeting her sorrowful gaze "Elsa, no, hold on. This isn't-" Anna shakes her head firmly.  _I will not let her blame herself again. This cycle needs to be broken._ "I  _promise_ , what happened at breakfast had nothing to do with my arm. I-I mean yes, it was flaring a bit, but that's a constant, right? I was just feeling… Overwhelmed, I suppose. But I know how much I worried you and I am so sorry for that. I just panicked, like I always do. A-and then I ran, and I hit my shoulder. Fell weirdly. That's all. The pain came after what happened at breakfast. It was because of my own foolishness."

"Overwhelmed…" Elsa echoes, and she squeezes Anna a little bit tighter. Her fingers gently brush against scarred skin and Anna sighs, trying to concentrate on her sister's voice. "I, ah-" Elsa hesitates then, as though she's trying to phrase something delicately. "I'd noticed some vitriol boiling under the surface as you spoke with Kristoff. And when you ran- that is to say, if it wasn't your arm…"  _She must be referring to the look Kristoff gave me before I fled. She… saw that?_ "You can," She shakes her head "I mean- Would you like to talk about it? About how things are going with him?" Elsa's lips are pursed, and Anna has the distinct impression that her sister is preparing herself for an uncomfortable topic.

"With Kristoff?" Anna squeaks. "W-we… Um, things are- They're good! We're good. Kristoff and I are… good." She falters under Elsa's piercing gaze. She knows her grin is far too wide, and the smile doesn't reach her eyes.  _Wow, I am just hopeless, aren't I?_

Elsa arches an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Anna, we don't have to discuss this. It is not for me to demand to know about your personal life. I just want to be sure that you feel comfortable talking to me about anything, all right? Anything at all."

Anna's eyes are downcast and she feels the familiar pang of frustration with her inability to be direct with her sister, at least in matters such as these. "I…"

Elsa hooks a cool finger under Anna's chin, bringing her gaze level with her own once more. "That is not to guilt or pressure you either, sweetheart." Elsa cups Anna's cheek in her palm, and when she leans into the touch, Elsa smiles softly. "I am perfectly content with my little sister having her secrets, but I will always be here to listen to whatever you want to tell me. There will be no judgement and no need to fear my reaction. Your happiness and safety are all that concern me, do you understand?"

Anna nods, giggling wetly. Her smile is genuine now, and she leans in to nestle into the crook of Elsa's neck. Her heart is thudding and her hand shakes as she holds Elsa close, dimly aware of her fingers stroking soft skin through the fabric of Elsa's dress.  _This must be the safest, warmest hug in the entire kingdom._

Elsa rests her cheek on Anna's head, and the throaty chuckle she produces reverberates through her chest and into Anna's entire being. "Well I'm not sure about being the warmest, but your safety is absolutely assured, I promise you."

Heat flares in Anna's cheeks and down to her chest. She groans pitifully in Elsa's embrace.  _I can't even trust my own mouth._ "That was supposed to be private!" She whines.

"If it helps, I only just managed to hear it over your adorable little sighs."

Elsa's voice is light, and Anna smiles despite herself. She shakes her head, eyes screwed shut. "No," she whines, "That's not fair, Els-ah!" A well-timed pulse of magic beneath her skin soothes a rush of pain.

"Shh, it's all right. The worst has passed, has it not?" Elsa's breath tickles the shell of her ear, and Anna tries her hardest to stay composed.

"Yes, I think so. Thank you, Elsa." Anna's lips brush against soft, cool skin as she speaks, and her heart hammers in her chest. "I love you." Anxiety and anticipation war within her as she leaves a lingering kiss at the spot where neck and shoulder meet.  _I love you. I love you. I love you!_

Elsa's entire body stills, and Anna's heart leaps from her chest. The fingers that were stroking her arm tremble but remain where they are, and the hand cupping her cheek falters for a moment before delicate fingers fumble at the back of her neck.

Anna releases another sigh, her breath chilling the wet patch of soft skin. And, as she has many times before, she swears she feels her sister shudder.

Elsa turns her head the slightest bit, and her lips are so  _soft_  on the sensitive skin above her ear. "I love you too, Anna." The breathless declaration, almost a sigh itself, sends a shock down Anna's spine.

_I need to stop this._ Her lips travel up,  _slowly_  up Elsa's neck, and she places another kiss just below her jaw.  _It's gone far enough!_

"A-Anna…"

She can almost imagine the softly spoken word as desperate. Even  _wanting_. She continues, her trembling lips caressing a soft, cool cheek.

_What is wrong with me?_

She brings her hand to the back of Elsa's neck, scratching lightly. Elsa's lips are parted, and Anna is coming so dangerously close to them.

_Why can't I-_

And then, with torturous care, she brushes the corner of Elsa's mouth with her own. She whimpers at the heat that flares in her chest, brow furrowed as her sister's name escapes in a whisper. When she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder followed by the softest nudge, she pulls away as though she's been burned.

"Elsa, I-"  _I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me._

"We should get ready for our outing," Elsa says, mercifully cutting across Anna's failed attempt to explain herself. She smiles tremulously, turning her head to look through the snow-covered window. "You'll need to dress warmly today." Her voice breaks and she clears her throat hastily.

Elsa doesn't look at her. As she extricates herself from her sister's embrace, Anna has the indescribable sense that something in their relationship has fundamentally shifted. The uncertainty terrifies her, and the childish need for her sister to reassure her - to hold her and tell her that everything is, or will be okay - runs wild through her addled mind.

_Wow, was I wrong..._

_I'll never learn._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride month! ;)


	6. Contrast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The snowdate! Or, well... the beginning of it. I hope you enjoy :)

The two women walk silently through the white forest. All is still, the winter wind a hushed whisper through the tall trees surrounding them. Off in the distance, Anna spots a squirrel furtively exploring the base of a tall evergreen. It chitters as it scampers up the trunk, and the sound is muffled by the gently falling snow.

Elsa's gait is effortless. Even as the snow reaches her knees in some places, she never trips. Never falters. Anna follows in her wake, grateful both that her sister is clearing the way, and that she can't see just how hard Anna is trying not to trip over… random dips in the ground, particularly vindictive branches, her own two feet… It's a constant struggle, even with Elsa's magical snow-clearing abilities. She's breathing fairly hard, each exhalation a white cloud in the biting chill of winter air, but still she sucks in her stomach -  _I'm wearing like three overcoats, what am I doing? -_  and masks her features in placid indifference when Elsa turns to look at her.

"Should we rest for a bit, Anna? We have another twenty minutes or so before we reach the clearing."

"No way! I could go for at least another hour," she shamelessly lies.

Elsa simply arches a brow and turns back to face the path ahead. Her pace slows almost imperceptibly and she extends her hand behind her in silent invitation. "It'll be a little easier if you don't stay so far back," she says after Anna struggles with herself for entirely too long over whether to take it.

Tentatively, Anna reaches her gloved hand out to her sister, almost certain she feels a shock when slender fingers grab hold securely.

"Just a little bit further," Elsa says, her voice even.

Things between them have been… strange. Ever since what happened in Anna's chambers, Elsa has seemed withdrawn. They had dressed in their separate rooms, parting and reuniting in fragile silence. Only Elsa's soft smile upon answering the familiar knock on her door soothed Anna's frayed nerves.

Then, when they met Kristoff back in the dining hall, Elsa thanked him for his visit and promised to meet with him in the coming weeks to discuss a new ice delivery initiative, "Sure to provide a substantial boost to the summer season's international fishing exports," in her words. At this, Kristoff bemusedly bid them farewell, having essentially been shown the door by Arendelle's reigning monarch.

Privately, Anna was not quite displeased with the man's unceremoniously swift exit. However, it was certainly unlike her sister to treat a visitor in such a dispassionate manner, least of all a friend of the crown.

As they departed the castle and approached the edge of the forest, Elsa's gaze remained fixed on the encroaching treeline. Anna's furtive glances went unnoticed, and she felt like she had to do  _something_  to reorient their relationship. She had the distinct feeling that Elsa was uncomfortable in her presence, and the thought made her want to retch.

And so she walks, a hundred ideas and a thousand words running through her fevered mind, each more pointless than the last.  _I have to fix this. If we could just talk about what happened, I could explain! Or I could try, at the very least._

The trees begin to thin out as they near the clearing, and for a moment Anna manages to put aside her fears and focus on the anticipation of witnessing Elsa's magic. It was all she could think about the night before as she laid in bed, eyes scrunched shut and willing herself to sleep.  _I must be the luckiest little sister in the world, to have someone like her._

Elsa, who could do anything she wished with her precious free time, chooses to share her wonderful gift with Anna. She grins, feeling light on her feet as she picks up the pace just slightly. Elsa follows suit and soon they're running through the snow, and her sister is  _beaming_ when she looks back at her. Laughter rings loud and bright between them. It seems as though the strange tension of before has graciously been lifted.  _This is what I want. It's all I'll ever need. Only a fool would demand more._

They rush through the break in the trees and come upon the pristine clearing that Anna remembers from childhood. Again she wonders, as she has countless times before, why she can never recall Elsa's magic from back then. It is an idle thought, however, and she instead shifts her attention to the woman in front of her.

She relaxes her grip and Elsa pulls a bit further ahead, stopping a few meters away and turning to look back. Her arms flow gracefully and her eyes sparkle as Anna halts in her tracks, marveling at the power Elsa commands. The sheer beauty she can create. Millions of tiny crystals hover between them, all  _around_  them. They are dazzling in their splendor. "Elsa, this is… This is incredible!" The further Anna looks from where she stands, the denser the fog of ice seems to become, until she can't even make out the trees surrounding the clearing. She looks up and even the sun had dimmed.  _So then how can it be so bright? How does she do it?_

Elsa runs up to her and takes her hand, cradling it to her chest as she positively shakes with excitement. "I want to show you something, Anna. I've only ever done it once before, but… Will you watch?" Her brow is creased and her smile softens, apprehensive. Anna stares at her sister's flawless features, though she has the good sense to feel some shame while she does it.

When a smooth lower lip catches between even teeth, Anna stammers a reply, clears her throat, and tries again, "Will I-" Anna is struck in the chest by the quiet pride in Elsa's words. "O-of course I will!"

Elsa's smile widens, and the gratefulness in her eyes makes Anna's heart ache with sympathy.  _Who would ever turn down the chance to see her magic?_

Elsa nods once, as if to herself, her expression morphing into one of deep focus as she backs away from Anna. Their bubble of ice and color begins to grow dark, first resembling the paleness of a full moon's night and then becoming black as ink, the occasional glowing crystal providing the only source of light.  _Not nearly enough…_ She holds her arm to her chest instinctively.

"Um, Elsa?" Anna's nerves taunt her in the pitch black silence. She feels the tiny kisses of ice on her cheeks and nose as she turns her head, straining her vision to locate her sister. Her heart jumps when a burst of light and sound originates from somewhere on her left side. She turns quickly, careful not to stumble, and what she sees takes all of the breath from her lungs. "Oh…  _Wow."_

Her sister is there, dancing and twirling her arms while two brightly colored ribbons of ice trail through the frost-filled air. One an iridescent blue, and the other a luminous teal, they shift and slide around Elsa in a graceful display. As she moves, her ice-formed dress catches and reflects the light surrounding her, and she appears to glow like an angel from on high.

Anna stands perfectly still, utterly entranced. She feels the tears fall, but does not dare disturb her view of this magnificent display to wipe them away. Elsa's eyes are closed, her face gentle and serene as she spins and dips. Her dress sways and flutters so elegantly, hugging her waist tightly before flowing down over her slender legs.

_And the way she moves her hips…_

Anna's cheeks are flushed, burning hot despite the chill. As she pulls her scarf down to relieve the heat, she forces herself to appreciate the purity of the spectacle Elsa has crafted. The dual ribbons of bright color illuminate the darkness, causing the countless floating crystals to glow as the light refracts through them. Her knees are weakened by the sight of an innumerable amount of crystals shining like stars in the pitch black of a false night. Surrounding Elsa, the glittering flecks push and pull like a tide. As they swirl, the range of color expands to include pastel pinks and deep purples.

Elsa is closer to her than she was before, and she moves closer still. Her poise and grace leave Anna spellbound, rooted to the spot. At first she fears the tears on her cheeks could cause Elsa to abandon her expression of freedom, but when her sister's eyes flutter open and Anna's awestruck visage greets her, Elsa's calm smile widens, and her reddened cheeks bunch up in a bright, adoring grin. Brilliant colors suffuse the space between them and, unconsciously, Anna holds out her hand.

When Elsa takes it between her own with a joyous laugh, Anna's heart stutters in her chest. She is so  _radiant_  as the colors shine through her silver hair, and Anna is sure she could count every last gem of ice reflected in those perfect clear blue eyes.

They move as one, and Anna is seemingly blessed with a small measure of grace at this crucial moment. The snow on the ground parts beneath their feet as they dance in effortless synchronization.

As they slow their steps, Anna says, breathless, "I… I thought we were just here to build snowmen!"

Before she can chastise herself for her bumbling statement, Elsa winks playfully, sending her a lopsided smirk that makes her heart soar. "So you like it, then?" The ribbons of ice move with them in the dark, showering them both with brilliant light. They twist and wind themselves around the pair, occasionally dusting a nose with a flurry of falling snow.

Her cheeks are sore from smiling. "Elsa, you… This is- Y-you said you've practiced this just once before?! Like with the light and the floating ice and the darkness and everything?" Curiosity and awe battle for dominance within her.

"I must admit I hadn't expected it to go like this. The sun was still quite visible through the cloud of ice when I made my first attempt, and so the colors were much less vibrant as a result. Yet now…"

"It's absolutely  _amazing_ , Elsa." Her voice is almost breathless, matching Elsa's soft, gentle tone. "I can't begin to explain how lucky I am… How grateful, that you would share this with me. I had thought, with what happened in my-" She slams her mouth shut, eyes wide in terror.  _Am I ill?! Why would I bring it up now, of all times?_

Their dance falters a step or two.

"Anna," she says, and her eyes are downcast, "I-"

"Nevermind! Forget I said that. Please? I only meant that I was a-afraid... " Anna trails off with a whimper of distress, staring up at the empty blackness in resignation and praying for the heavens to swallow her whole.

"Afraid?" Elsa's hand is on her burning cheek again. "Anna, look at me."

She does. It isn't easy.

"What were you afraid of?"

"Please don't, Elsa." Her eyes don't stay locked for long, her gaze shifting down once more. "Please don't make me say it." The words come out as a whisper and they hang in the air for moments. Elsa takes a breath. Her thumb is delicate as it caresses a freckled cheek, and Anna can't help looking at her older sister smiling down at her. They're still moving, slowly. Anna might have thought it odd to dance for so long with no music to accompany them, but truthfully… she'd forgotten the wider world ever since Elsa darkened the sky and brought the stars to her.

_I can't mess this up. I can't drive her away with my ridiculous dreams and desires. What we have now is far too important to me- To the both of us! No more selfishness. I have what I need. Why would it ever be more than this?_

"Anna."

In an instant, shining teal eyes are alert and attentive, focusing once again on the face of the woman in front of her. Those bright blue eyes stare her down with an intensity she struggles to withstand, but she keeps her gaze.  _I can be strong._

"I am… very careful with my words. I have to be. I never say something to you or to anyone else unless I fully intend on living with the consequences."

Anna nods silently. She knows Elsa isn't admonishing her, but it is just far too applicable to her own behavior to ignore the pang of chagrin.

"So when I told you," Elsa continues, "that you have  _nothing_  to fear from my reaction… That you could tell me anything at all without worry, I  _meant_ it." Elsa's palm slides lower until slender fingers cup Anna's chin. "I meant those words with all of my heart, dear sister. Please trust me. You don't have to tell me if it is not your wish, but please believe that you'll never have cause to be afraid. I… I'll never abandon you again."

Elsa looks away for the briefest moment, brow furrowed. Anna can tell it's the guilt and she fears her sister will never be rid of it. But Elsa brings her gaze back quickly, the words that flow from her lips gripping Anna's heart like a vice.

"After all, who in their right mind would let go of someone so wonderful?"

And suddenly she feels as though her chest will burst. She chokes back a sob, refusing to ruin this perfect moment. She doesn't have to force the smile to her lips, and yet there is a sadness in her eyes.  _But what can I do? Everything she says to me… I just fall deeper and deeper with every word. How could I possibly deserve her love, when all I can do lately is twist it into something… else? Something unspeakable. She doesn't feel that way for me, I know. Why would she?_

Why would anyone?

"I refuse to believe that this divide will last, Anna. You are far too precious to me, and I will prove to you that I can be trusted. I-"

Anna's entire body locks in place. "Trusted?" The bitterness in her response disgusts her. "I trust you with my  _life_ , Elsa! With my entire soul, I trust you."

"Then wh-"

"Because I can't trust myself! I can't… I wasn't afraid that you would abandon me, Els. I was afraid that I would  _ruin_  this. All of this!" She steps back, swinging her arm around as though presenting a wealth of evidence to the royal court. "All of these things you do for me. These sweet, thoughtful gestures. T-the magic you show me each and every day with your words and your actions. Your care and concern for me. You have no idea how sick I am, Elsa. How twisted my thoughts have become."

Elsa is striding toward her and she nearly trips in her haste to keep some distance. "Elsa, no! Just stay there. I-I just need-" She doesn't stop and then Anna is in her arms again, failing to hold it together. "I need to-"

"What do you need, Anna?" Elsa is firm with her voice but so utterly soft against her. She rests her cool forehead against Anna's sweat-soaked brow and asks again, frantic and her breathing fast, "What do you need?"

_That's the answer! I don't deserve this. Any of it. The happiness she brings me… o-or the pain of false hope. I… I need to be told no._

Her fingers are at the back of Elsa's neck, though she barely remembers how they got there. Elsa's eyes are practically glowing in the ambient light of ice and magic, and Anna is hopelessly spellbound.

"I  _love_  you, Elsa." Her whisper is fearful, as though the words are obscene.  _Forbidden.  
_

_Please, Els... One more time. Tell me to go away just one last time, okay?_

"I love you t-" Elsa trails off with a whimper as nervous lips capture her own. Her eyes are wide in shock and she stands there, unmoving.  _Her lips, they're so... soft. Yielding._

Anna pulls back and forces herself to get the words out. "I'm sorry," she says with a gasp before she closes the distance once more _._

_I've always been stupid and selfish. Why stop now?_

But when she feels those smooth, satin lips move softly against her own, Anna's mind goes blank. And that hateful, demeaning voice inside her is finally - mercifully - silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far! I hope you continue to enjoy. :)


	7. Strive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for yet another delay after a flurry of updates. Much more will come, but I cannot promise that it will come quickly. I hope you enjoy what little there is today.

**_~Six Months Earlier~_ **

 

Elsa rubs at her aching temple. She’s read the same paragraph over a dozen times by this point, and she’s getting nowhere fast. Tax law can be so fascinating when one is in the mood for such minutiae, but at this very moment, her mind is far below her in the dark, craggy-walled dungeons of Arendelle’s castle.

Anna is tossing and turning each night, suffering every day, and now she lies in a fevered state, frail and wan, because of _him._

_Don’t let yourself off so lightly..._

She pushes the thought aside and refocuses. She needs this poison. Hatred is so much less painful than guilt.

He has been their prisoner for close to a full month by now. With all the chaos surrounding Anna’s injury, it’s astonishing that the man didn’t manage to escape. _Well, his wounds were quite critical…_ Elsa’s smile is bitter -- almost feral.

The political realities that forced her to see that he had proper medical treatment leave her feeling trapped even now. She is not foolish enough to believe that this man… this _cretin_ acted on his own. His methods may have been improvised and cursed with his own personal flair, but there is little doubt that he was carrying out the will -- explicit or not -- of his kingdom’s throne.

With this calculus in mind, Elsa decided quite early on that any action taken on her kingdom’s part in terms of enacting justice -- anything beyond imprisonment for the purposes of detainment -- would be met with accusations of provocation as well as calls for retribution against her and her people.

Against _Anna._

With a shuddering breath, Elsa stands from her chair, arms outstretched and hands splayed onto the desk in front of her. Frost coats the wooden surface with an alarming quickness and the sound soothes her as she stands there, eyes fluttering closed.

This is not fear. This is _anger_. And she’s allowing herself the luxury of its comforting catharsis.

_This is absurd. I am the Queen of the Kingdom of Arendelle! It is my sovereign duty to protect this nation against-_

She sighs. It does not matter. She has gone over this argument with her advisors countless times, and in her own head many, _many_ more. No matter from which angle she approaches the problem, the end result is the same. Hans of the Southern Isles will return to his kingdom as a free man.

In her terse correspondences with the island kingdom, she had been assured that Hans would answer to the king himself upon his arrival, and that ‘this attack on the sovereignty of a peaceful nation would not go unpunished.’ These empty promises held no weight. No concrete actions were detailed. Just diplomatic lip-service meant to console a poor, naive queen.

Hans’s signed, written confession had detailed his plot and the methods he employed in his attempt to usurp the throne of Arendelle. When Elsa read it for the first time, she felt sick. This man clearly had no remorse, and he delighted in the retelling. The things he told Anna… both his cynical deceit as he schemed to win her desperate heart and his utterly cruel words to the princess before he left her alone to die… Elsa was beside herself with rage, but she did not dare let it show in his presence. Her face was placid as she handed the document to a waiting advisor and swept from the torchlit dungeon hall. 

Leaving him there to _rot._

She remembers his face. Hans was wholly unconcerned by the supposedly dire fate that awaited him. Smug in his assurance that he would be safe at home in just a few short weeks, he bid Elsa a fond farewell and all she could do was ensure that his remaining time spent in Arendelle was as uncomfortable as she could make it.

And so every day, a single meal of stale bread and spoiled milk… And a perpetual storm of his very own to keep him company as he shivers on the cold, hard floor of his cell.

Elsa desperately wishes she could rise above such pettiness and at the same time, she is helplessly disappointed by her lack of creativity.

_Oh, if Anna knew what was running through my mind…_

His heart, encased in ice… Ripped from his chest and crushed beneath her foot.

_She'd run from me._

Painfully aware of the late hour, Elsa decides to retire for the night. The work will keep until the morning. She leans over the desk and huffs a breath. Cool air sparks blue in the heat of the summer night and the flame on her desk dies out. The moon casts a wisp of a shadow as she makes her way to bed. She hastily undoes her braid and slips under the covers. Even in the sweltering heat, as her eyes flutter shut and the world outside grows faint, she finds herself wishing she could bask in her sister’s warmth.

o~o~o

The heat in Anna's room is stifling, as she expected. Anna lies upon the bed, still and silent but for her ragged, shallow breathing and Elsa watches the shaky rise and fall of her chest. She sees the way her brow is furrowed as though she’s in constant discomfort, and auburn locks cling to the sheen of sweat on her freckle dusted forehead.

It’s all Elsa can do to keep a steady stride toward her spot by Anna’s bedside. As she takes her seat, she reaches a trembling hand to her sister, brushing a knuckle or two along a proud cheekbone. The magic within her flares excitedly at the touch and Anna cants her head in her sleep, deepening the contact. Elsa rests her palm there on Anna’s warm cheek. Her eyes shine with tears as she gazes fully upon Anna’s restless countenance.

She’s been like this for a week. Eight days, to be precise. ‘An infection’, Doctor Thomsen had informed her solemnly, that first night Anna had fallen ill. Complications from the life-saving procedure out on the frozen fjord.

Another trial for her sister. Another obstacle she’ll need to overcome.

Elsa’s free hand balls into a tight fist and a pulse of magic threatens to loose itself into the world. Ice begins to crawl along the chair she sits in, the wooden frame creaking in protest. Her eyes slam shut as she focuses on her sister. She lifts a nervous hand from Anna’s cheek and lays it upon her burning hot forehead. A small whimper, and she nearly pulls back until a grateful sigh leaves Anna’s lips. Elsa smiles brokenly, stroking the matted hair back and wiping away the sweat from Anna’s brow.

“Anna? It’s time for breakfast. Wake up now,” she coos softly. Her thumb continues its idle caress of clammy skin, and she eyes the steaming bowl of oats and fruit on the bedside table. Anna hasn’t eaten anything substantial in two days. Elsa tries not to let her desperation show, but the stress and worry are getting to her. She can barely focus on her duties, so preoccupied is she with her sister’s recovery.

A hollow groan leaves Anna's lips.

“Anna, please. Just a few spoonfuls?” 

Her sister’s breathing stutters and she shifts in her bed. Her head turns to the side, eyes fluttering open and she stares, bleary-eyed into the bright room. “Mmn… Elsa?” A tired smile lights up her face and she brings her hand up as if to make sure what she sees is real.

“Good morning, Anna,” Elsa replies. The smile is easily returned as she looks down at her disheveled sister. “How are you feeling?” She catches hold of the hand between them. Her throat constricts when she feels how weak Anna’s grip has become.

“Thirsty,” Anna sighs. She begins to sit up and Elsa experiences a small moment of panic.

“Ah, careful! Mind your arm.” Elsa is on her feet in an instant, protectively cradling Anna’s head and reaching for the bandaged arm with her free hand. The last time Anna put any sort of weight on the damaged limb, the pain nearly rendered her unconscious. It breaks Elsa’s heart to see how often Anna uses her arm as though nothing is wrong. The look that flashes in her sister’s eyes when she realizes -- the defeat and disappointment there make Elsa want to weep, though she knows it would do no good. She needs to be strong for her sister.

As Anna sits upright under her own strength, Elsa arranges the pillows behind her. “There now, just sit back and I’ll fetch some water for you.” She rubs the tense spot between Anna’s shoulderblades, careful to keep a hand between the headboard and the head of copper hair until Anna is settled in.

  
“Thank you,” Anna mumbles, clearly still drowsy from the fever medication. She reclines with a small groan of effort, sheets rustling as she adjusts the angle of her position. 

Elsa’s eyes barely leave her sister as she crosses the room, grabbing the pitcher of water and cup from the desk. The water sloshes in the pitcher as she walks, and she consciously calms her pace. She’s too worked up, nerves buzzing within her as anxiety creeps through her subconscious. _I have to relax. Anna needs me, and I need to show that I can care for her as an older sister should._

Of course, being the sole ruler of a modest kingdom, Elsa’s duties prevent her from keeping a watchful eye as often as she’d like, and in these times she entrusts her sister’s care to their excellent staff. At the moment, though, she enjoys a rare reprieve from the weight of her crown and takes full advantage of it in order to tend to an altogether more rewarding endeavor. “So,” Elsa begins as she takes her seat once more and pours a glass of cool water. Her eyes flit up to Anna while the water fills the cup. “I had the notion that you might like to help me look over the new tax proposal. After breakfast, of course.”

  
Anna takes the glass with a shaky hand and her eyes are much more alert. “Is this the same proposal we discussed a few days ago?” Her voice croaks and she takes a gulp of water, wincing as she swallows.

Elsa sets aside her concern for the moment. “Y-yes. A new revision of the proposal was brought to me late last night, and I haven’t had much time to look it over.” _What with all the brooding and such._ “I’d discussed a few of your suggestions with my advisors and-”

  
Anna coughs and sputters, water dribbling down her chin.

“Anna?!” Elsa frets. The coughing continues. “Breath slowly!” Elsa grabs the water from her sister and places a cool hand to her overheated shoulder. Anna’s chest spasms with another cough but then she’s returning to a normal rhythm. “That’s it,” Elsa says softly, rubbing her back in small circles. “Slow, deep breaths.”

  
Anna nods unevenly, pulling her hand to her chest. “Sorry, I just…” She inhales slowly, and deeply, and Elsa smiles at how hard Anna seems to concentrate on the act. “What did you talk about? I mean, um, which suggestions?”

Elsa gives her a bemused smile. “Well, the agricultural subsidies for a start, as well as tax relief for the kingdom’s fishermen. As you pointed out, both industries were grievously harmed by the storm, and this year will be tough for them.” Anna looks shocked, and Elsa can’t understand why. “I also suggested lowering tariffs on essential imports so that our citizens -- especially the ones hit hardest -- will be able to replenish their stores more easily.” Elsa’s smile widens, her fingers rubbing along Anna’s shoulder as she brings them back into her lap. “Your ideas to relieve our citizens are both compassionate and practical, and I was proud to argue in favor of them.”

She blushes at the praise. “Elsa, I was just rambling when we talked about this. I don't know the first thing about economics… At least not practically. It's all just stuff from those boring old tomes I was made to read. Stuff that I barely even remember.” Anna looks down at the edge of the blanket she's fidgeting with, and Elsa aches to see her sister's confidence returned.

“If that’s the case,” Elsa replies gently, “then it is obvious that you have a mind for this, as my advisors were quite visibly impressed with many of the details of your ideas.” She gives a wry smile. “Their excited questions left me struggling to recall the nuances of the subsidies in particular. When I told them that we could expect a larger revenue in the year following the next full harvest, even with the lower tax burden per citizen, they all but demanded to speak to you personally.”

Anna’s eyes drift up from her fiddling fingers, and Elsa’s smile is warm and soft when she sees her little sister’s back straighten, her chest flaring with pride.

“And so I think it best that we both look over the proposal that my advisors and I have drawn up. Your input matters a great deal to me, Anna.” She brushes her fingers over warm skin, clasping her hand over her sister’s. “A queen never rules alone.”

Anna squeaks and her hand flinches -- from the cold, perhaps -- and Elsa pulls back smoothly, careful not to worry her with a show of sadness or disappointment. The sensation of another’s touch is still so new for the both of them, and it will take some getting used to. Elsa clears her throat softly and continues, “This proposal will be the first major task that is demanded of me, and I must confess that I find myself less than perfectly prepared for the responsibility.” Her hands are wringing together against her conscious wishes and she averts her gaze, her voice taking on a soft tremor, “Our people depend on me to fix what I’ve done… Their livelihoods are at risk because of what happened. Because I couldn’t control it. I need this to be perfect. No one else should have to suffer for my misdeeds.” And suddenly that same hand, warm and soft, gently rests upon hers.

Fingers intertwine and Anna brings Elsa’s hand to her chest. “If you are to blame, then so am I.” Anna’s voice is sweet, though the words are wrong to Elsa’s own ears. She frowns and Anna almost giggles.

 _I must look so petulant._ _Ever the regal exemplar._

“We aren’t alone anymore, Elsa.” She brings her hand up to cradle her sister’s cheek. Her gaze is resolute. “Whatever you need from me, I will do my best to help.”

Elsa nods gratefully and smiles, her eyes crinkled shut to stave off embarrassing tears. “Thank you.”

It’s all she can bring herself to say.

  
  
  



	8. Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't have to be a snowman. <3

They break apart slowly. As Anna leans back, her sister seems to follow before catching herself, eyes fluttering open and mouth agape.

Elsa's lips are warmer than she was expecting. That's the first thing that runs through her mind as soon as she's able to form a coherent thought. The next leads her down a spiraling path of choice and consequence that both excites and terrifies her.

 _She kissed me back!_ The implications are nerve-wracking.

Everything seems to be frozen still around her. The dancing ribbons of light hover eerily above them and the crystals—once gently floating as they ebbed with the wind—now remain in place, utterly unmoving. She's breathing hard. They both are. Her heart hammers in her chest as she tries to calm herself. Elsa is standing in front of her, half-lidded eyes widening a fraction as she brings her fingers slowly up to her lips.

Anna watches those fingers raptly. A knot in the pit of her stomach clenches at  _something,_ and she feels the need to speak. A vague worry that if Elsa dwells too long on what they've done, then things would begin to unravel.

And so, of course, she giggles nervously, and Elsa's piercing blue eyes instantly shift their focus onto her, wide and alert. Anna sputters and swallows hastily. Her hand is still on the back of Elsa's neck, tangled up in those soft strands of golden white hair. When she moves to undo her grip, Elsa lowers her hand and lets out a noise somewhere between a sigh and a whimper. It's sudden, as though she'd been holding it in, and Anna nearly gasps at the sound. "S-sorry!" She manages to avoid injuring Elsa as she quickly withdraws her hand and pins it to her side, blushing furiously when the weight of what just happened finally hits her with full force.

"Anna…"

It's not a reproach, her name whispered so softly that she barely hears it at all. Still, she feels chastised all the same, stepping back and giving Elsa some space.  _In case she wants to run._ Her ears are burning and pinpricks of shame crawl up and down the back of her neck. "I-I know. I'm sorry, Elsa. I don't know why I did that! You were just- That dancing… A-and the way you looked at me, I-" She groans in frustration. "Great, now it sounds like I'm blaming you for what I did."

Elsa's gaze seems to focus on infinity, just over Anna's shoulder. "What you did…" Her voice is still hardly more than a whisper, and she trails a slender finger along her lower lip. After a moment, her eyes focus back onto Anna's with startling quickness. "You kissed me."

Blunt and to the point, and Anna doesn't know how to respond. Or if she even should. Before she can talk herself into breaking the painful silence, Elsa's voice rings in her ears. "You're not sick, Anna. Why do you say such things?" She reaches out and takes a single step toward Anna.

Elsa's soft voice breaks through the haze in her mind. Impossibly gentle, yet chiding all the same.  _The things I said before I kissed her… I must have really worried her._ Anna knows how much it upsets her sister when she berates herself. She should have been prepared for this, but she never is. Elsa is just so adept at making her feel both elated and so utterly  _small._ "Is it really a surprise?" Anna croaks, taking another retreating step.  _When did she get closer?_  "Feelings like this… Normal people don't have to fight the urge to kiss their sister whenever she does something nice for them. They don't wake up in her arms and bite back the impulse to rouse her with a kiss on her neck. They-" She swallows. The lump in her throat aches and fresh tears make her cheeks burn in the cold as she tries to hold it together. "They don't dread the moments apart from her, and they don't lose their breath whenever she walks into the room! God, every time you smile at me, Elsa… it feels like I'm slipping from a branch, trying to stop myself from hitting the ground."

"I would catch you," Elsa whispers hoarsely, her gaze dropping to the pure white snow covering the ground between them.

Such a simple, earnest response. Anna is gaping like a fish out of water and Elsa… Her sweet sister is blushing more furiously than she has ever seen, stroking her braid anxiously and stealing a glance at Anna's stunned expression with as much subtlety as she can muster.

"Elsa, you-" Anna finds her sister's fingers tangling with her own and her heart leaps. "You don't have to pretend to be okay with this. I shouldn't have…" Her eyes squeeze shut as the shame redoubles. "...kissed you. You were already uncomfortable from earlier and I just couldn't leave well enough alone. I'm so sorry, Elsa."

When she opens her eyes, Elsa is looking at her with such sadness that she finds herself panicking. She squeezes her sister's hand gently and moves to let go, but Elsa doesn't let her.

"Not… uncomfortable," Elsa murmurs, almost beneath her breath. She clears her throat hastily and stammers, "Shocked, yes... though perhaps not as much as I should have been. I think," she trails into another whisper. Her blush is as intense as ever, and Anna desperately hangs on every softly spoken word. "I think I'd like to try it again," she says, and their fingers interlace as she brings them up to her mouth, laying a single soft kiss on Anna's knuckle.

Chest tightening, Anna gasps at her sister's words. When Elsa looks up and sees the disbelief etched on Anna's face, she gives a shy smile and lays a cool hand on her cheek. "Anna," she breathes into the space between them, "This is dangerous. I'd like to try it again, but… we need to be cautious. More than that, we need to talk about this properly. But please do not think I'm simply humoring you. You do a disservice to yourself and…" Elsa swallows and furrows her brow. Her nerves show plainly on her face as she seems to force herself to continue, "And to my own feelings as well."

 _Her feelings?_ Anna feels faint, and her useless arm is still buzzing with pain.  _Does she..?_

This is all just  _so much._  Even at her most honest and introspective—those times spent awake at night, trying to fall back asleep before she disturbed her overworked sister—she had never explored the full scope of her feelings for Elsa. She had vague, unformed desires and wishes, but if she tried to solidify them, it would have likely amounted to not much more than simply wanting to spend the rest of her life wrapped up in Elsa's arms as often as possible. Nothing as grand as a declaration of romantic love and certainly nothing like what transpired earlier. But with one, or perhaps two reckless moments of poor impulse control, her entire world has been upturned.

_I spend far too long going over the hypotheticals for how terrible my decisions are. But Elsa wants to talk properly… And that could be wonderful! Or mortifying. The important thing is that I have the chance to handle this with grace. I can't mess this up._

"Are you still with me, sweetheart?" Elsa asks tentatively. "I hope I didn't overwhelm you."

"No! Oh, Elsa, no, I just- God I don't even know how to… I wasn't trying-" She winces as her arm burns, and Elsa's fingers are softly stroking her where it hurts most. Her touch is immediate— confident as she massages around the scar, careful to keep it covered against the frigid air.

"Shh, come now. Let's get you warmed up, all right?"

Anna looks around with dismay. "But we were going to build a snowman! A-and I wanted to see more of your magic…" She sounds so childish and sullen, and Elsa is laughing softly in her ear as she holds her close.

"We'll have time for that later, I promise. It's still early in the day. Some cocoa will do your body good." With a smile in her voice, she continues, "We still have those cookies, you know. I had them set aside when you left the table at breakfast." She finishes with a conspiratorial whisper and Anna is awed by how smoothly her sister seems to be handling the situation. If Elsa had been the one to kiss  _her_ , she's fairly sure she'd be a hopeless mess right now.

"How are you not disgusted by me?" She can't help the pitiful groan that slips out when her sister stills and then moves to look her in the eyes again.  _I shouldn't be allowed to talk. There should be laws against it._

Cool hands rest on Anna's shoulders and Elsa frowns deeply, brow furrowed. "There is nothing—" Her voice is firm and her hands grip tighter when Anna tries to look away. "Anna." Their eyes lock once again. "There is  _nothing_  you could do or say that would disgust me.  _I love you._  We will always be there for each other." Elsa's eyes pierce Anna's soul. She swallows anxiously, and Elsa adds, "And we will always talk things through, won't we?"

Anna sniffles once and nods jerkily.

"And besides, If I were the one to have kissed  _you_ , would you have run? Rejected me outright and left me here alone with my thoughts? Would you have berated me? Or said horrible things to me? Would… Would you have struck me in anger? Or revulsion?"

"N-no! Never…" Anna is horrified by the thought alone. "I would never do something,  _anything_ like that."

"Then I simply ask that you hold me to the same standard, Anna, and just… be kinder to yourself. You didn't attack me or catch me off guard. I was surprised, but anyone could have understood your intentions when you leaned in to-"

Anna whimpers and slams her eyes shut in embarrassment.

Elsa clears her throat. "Well, it happened, and I was not some blushing maiden swept along by your chauvinistic might."

Anna giggles wetly despite herself. Even considering the absurdity of the conversation, the idea that anyone could intimidate Elsa or drag her along through sheer force of will is laughable.

"In fact, I'd argue that by the end of it, I had the upper hand." Her eyes flash and her mischievous smirk makes Anna's heart leap.

"Elsa, please, I don't think I can handle your teasing right now," she responds weakly, turning to hide her blushing face. Even in this frozen woodland clearing, she's positively sweating from shame and humiliation.

Beautiful laughter rings through the air like yuletide bells and Anna collapses in on herself even more. "My apologies, then. I'll keep my tone strictly regal and proper, if it pleases the Princess."

Anna is shaking with nerves but she can't help but smile as she plays along with a curtsy, spinning to face her sister once again. "It does. Thank you, Your Majesty." Head bowed and eyes closed, she doesn't hear Elsa's silent footsteps as the snow parts beneath her feet.

"Should I carry you back to the castle, sweet sister? You look so cold." A shudder runs up Anna's spine and Elsa coos, "You're shivering."

Anna's legs almost fail her as Elsa's breath brushes over the shell of her ear.  _I hadn't even noticed her leaning in!_   _Her voice is so gentle…_  "No, " she says as she shakes her head defiantly and stomps off. After a few steps, she fully registers Elsa's words, turning and shouting, "And don't make fun of me! I'm almost as tall as you are." Elsa follows along behind her with a light giggle. Anna manages an indignant pout, but her insides are being jostled with each step.  _Even if I was as cold as she thinks, her words make me feel so warm inside._

Anna risks a small, embarrassed smile, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ear as she marches toward the distant ramparts of the castle. An excited grin threatens to erupt with every new thought.

 _At least the way back has already been cleared of snow. I'm trying really hard not to make a fool of myself and apparently I need all the help I can get. Elsa's reaction to all of this is so far removed from what I was expecting… Even if she's not repulsed, surely she has to be putting on a brave face for my benefit. What other explanation could there be? Is she just toying with me? Am I okay with it if she is?_ She chances a quick glance back at her sister and nearly trips when she sees those blue eyes looking directly at her. Elsa's eyes widen when she seems to realize that Anna is looking back at her and she blushes, averting her gaze.  _Okay, yes, I am. Wow, I am so okay with that._

Her thoughts chase themselves around in circles as they approach the ancillary gates of the castle's southwest wall. They'd been walking in silence for a good while and at some point, Elsa had taken up the lead as they went. She stops in front of the gate as a watchman announces their presence. Anna manages to gracelessly avoid bumping into the Queen in front of the watchful eyes of the royal guard.  _They guard you as well, you dolt. What will they do, loose an arrow into your back for touching your sister?_  She giggles nervously at the thought and Elsa glances at her with a raised brow. The gate opens and Elsa grabs Anna's hand with a fond shake of her head.  _Am I charming her? Can I even be charming? Is it charming to giggle at your own thoughts? Or is it insane? Or both?_

Elsa strokes the back of her hand with her thumb.  _Oh, her hand is so soft… Wait, what did she say?_ "-your chambers, and I'll be there in a few minutes." They passed the guard's quarters and were heading through the courtyard when Anna realized they had stopped. Her sister was looking at her, perplexed.

"I'm so sorry Elsa, what were you saying? I was distracted."

"It's all right," she says, and her voice is almost musical, "I said that I'll head to the kitchens and fetch us our snack, if you want to head to your chambers. Or I suppose I could ask Kai to bring it to us…"

"Oh, no, I'll head up on my own. There's something I need to- uhh, nothing, nevermind, yes, go grab our cocoa and I'll see you when you return! Okay…" She looks around to see which direction she should sprint away in. "Good luck!" She waves and runs off. Elsa stares after her, unmoving. Anna turns a corner and stops to catch her breath.

' _Good luck'? Is fetching cocoa an arduous quest or something? What is wrong with me?_  She heaves a sigh and leans back against the wall.  _Ran the wrong way, too. I'll be lucky to reach my chambers before Elsa does._  With several offensive words of…  _encouragement_  running through her mind, she doubles back and tears through the courtyard toward the correct wing of the castle, dodging a few of the staff with gasping words of apology and climbing the stairs two at a time.

She enters her bright, sunlit chambers and finds herself alone, which is perfect for the mental breakdown she was planning on having.

_Oh my god, I kissed Elsa!_

She runs to her bed, leaping into it and holding a pillow to her face. _I kissed her and she kissed me back and then she TEASED ME ABOUT IT! Or I think she did… What on Earth is going through her mind?! There's no way she's handling it this well. Is she trying to laugh it off?_

Rolling onto her back, she tears the pillow away and stares blankly at the roof of the fourposter.

 _And what did she mean when she said I do a disservice to 'her feelings'? What are her feelings, exactly? Where in the world do we go from here? Where_ can  _we go? Is there even a future for… whatever this is?_

She suppresses a groan. _I kept telling myself I was content with what I had. With what_ we _had. Why did I have to complicate it? And why did she have to be so… sweet about it? How will I ever learn to be satisfied if I don't stop trying to push for more? What more could there even be? She's my sister, and she loves me. Why isn't that enough?_

A shake of her head.  _It_ is _enough. It's more than I've ever dreamed. She's so perfect and she cares so much for me. I need to respect what we have. I_ do  _respect it, and I need to show it. Elsa deserves whatever she wants from our relationship. Nothing more, and never anything less._

With a new resolve, Anna sits up in her bed, the supportive, attentive pillow promptly forgotten.  _I'll not do anything but reciprocate. I will_ not  _push her into anything. She is far too lenient with me already, and cares for me at the cost of her own well-being. If I took advantage of that, then I really would be disgusting. We'll talk about this like adults, and I'll obey her every boundary._ Anna knows it won't assuage her own fears and self-doubts, but at least it will ensure her sister's comfort.

With that problem squared away, it's then that she realizes she'd never changed out of her snow-covered dress and overcoat. She pushes herself off the bed and sighs at her foolishness. Grabbing a corner of the sheet, she pulls and gathers up a large armful of soaked bedding.  _Silje probably just prepared the bed, too. I'm such a mess._

There are a few soft knocks from the other side of the door, and Elsa's voice floats into the room, "Anna? I come bearing gifts."

Anna nearly drops the bedding on the floor in her surprise. She quickly places the burden on the bedside chair and races to the door, breathing deep and running her fingers through her hair.  _Just act normally. It's Elsa. There's nothing to be nervous about._ One last sigh and she responds, hand on the doorknob,"But my birthday isn't for four more months!"

When she opens the door, Elsa smirks at her in that playful, lopsided pull of her lips. Anna's heart pounds in her chest.

"Since when have I needed an excuse to spoil my beloved sister?" Elsa replies, and it's said with such warmth and affection that Anna ducks her head to hide her blush, stepping aside to let Elsa enter the room with a tray of cookies and cocoa.

She averts her eyes as Elsa bends to place the tray on an end table.  _For goodness' sake Anna, don't be a lecher._

"Shall we?" Elsa asks softly, gesturing to the couch. Her demeanor seems to have shifted in an instant back to a quiet shyness, gentle and a bit unsure.

 _Oh, I hope she didn't notice._ "O-okay, yeah. Um, Elsa, we don't— we can save this for later,"  _or never!_ "Just, I don't want to force anything…"

"Nothing will happen unless we both agree to it." Elsa clears her throat, her hand falling to her braid, idly stroking the intricate plait. "I'd like to talk to you—about quite a few things, as it happens—and I should hope that our conversation will prove to be quite pleasant, on the whole."

When Anna sees that small smile grace her sister's lips, she is instantly transported to the day of the Great Thaw, when she was granted access to Elsa's ice palace for the first time… Back to when she first saw her sister, so open and free and… And so full of life.

To see her now, that same proud, reserved smile on her face as she beckons Anna to sit beside her, Anna feels strong and sure. Sure that this—Whatever this is… or might  _become_ —is something that Elsa wants, as sure as Elsa wanted her sister to see her in her palace that fateful day.

With a deep, elated sigh, Anna gathers her courage. Hand over heart, she slowly makes her way to Elsa's side, careful to keep a respectful distance as she takes her seat.

Tentatively, but with no small measure of immediacy, Elsa closes that distance and takes Anna's hand in her own, holding it in her lap.

Clasped between her sister's, Anna's hand tremors as she screws her eyes shut. They sit in silence for a few minutes. Elsa softly caresses Anna's hand from time to time, patient and kind as she waits for Anna to compose herself. Anna's hand continues to shake and she feels like she should address it, "S-sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

Elsa's delicate whisper carries well in the quiet chambers. She sounds as though she's all around her, and Anna revels in that thought for a brief moment. "F-for being so nervous. It feels like I don't have the right to be, after what I did."

Cool hands squeeze tighter and Elsa's thighs shift as she turns to face her sister. "You have every right to feel nervous. I'm sorry as well. I hadn't intended for this to be so foreboding. I truly just wish to talk. No obligations or judgment… And certainly nothing to fear." A pause, and Elsa seems to lose herself to contemplation before, "I could start, if you'd like?"

Anna knows that Elsa must be just as nervous as she is, though she has to imagine that her sister's nerves are not quite for the same reasons. Not entirely, at least.  _Wow, even that small hope is enough to terrify me in the best way._  Even though Anna knows this, she still can't bring herself to object.  _Coward that I am._ "A-all right." It's more of a high pitched rasp than anything else but at this point, Anna's proud that she managed to open her mouth at all.

Elsa nods, almost solemnly, and takes a deep, slow breath. "I think… From the moment I first met Kristoff, I was jealous of him."

Anna's mouth runs dry, her heart beating staccato.

"At first, I believed it was simply an idle worry that after finally being given the chance to reconnect, I'd lose you all over again in time. Of course, I immediately understood the feeling to be small and petty and not worth exploring. After all, we would always be sisters, and no one could ever come between that." Her eyes flit up from her lap where their hands lay intertwined, and she fixes Anna with a resolute stare.

"Els—"

"I should have known it was folly. Dismissing such possessive feelings without ever examining the root of them… It was bound to cause complications. But I was stubborn, and I was in denial. Oh if you only knew the thoughts that kept me up at night, Anna. The lies I forced myself to swallow. But I never once imagined that you would feel…" She pauses, eyes screwing shut as she seems to will herself to continue, "Well, not until earlier this morning, that is. Right over there," she gestures to the floor in front of the door.

Anna knows she's beet-red by this point, and when her sister turns back to face her, she jumps, looking down at the table in front of them. Sitting on tenterhooks, she strains her hearing, positively unwilling to miss a single word. Her ears burn. The back of her neck prickles and her chest feels as though it might burst. But if she's dying, she'll be damned if she goes before Elsa finishes— _What? Is this a confession? A declaration?_ —baring her soul to her.

With reddened cheeks, Elsa proceeds, "Sitting right there on the cool wooden floor with your lips on my neck... I'd never felt so warm. It  _burned._ " Her voice is a whisper, wavering and tremulous. "In that moment, I prayed for your fire to consume me."

Sparing a thought to the heavens, begging them to take her, Anna shakes in her seat. She swallows roughly and almost…  _almost_  wishes that Elsa would release her hand so that nothing would tether her here.  _Would I really run from this? I've never been happier in my life… And yet I feel like I'm about to empty my stomach._

"When you started making your way up my neck, I must confess that I utterly panicked. Thoughts ran through my mind unbidden, but I refused to ignore them. What if someone were to find us there? What if the door was ajar and sound managed to escape? What if I was misreading the situation? You were in agony not a minute before… What if you were delirious with pain? You seemed perfectly lucid and coherent, but I could not- would  _never_  risk taking advantage. When you reached my lips, I could feel my magic pulsing up and down my spine. I forced myself out of the trance I willingly fell into, and I pushed you away." She smiles shyly and squeezes Anna's hand, prompting a small noise from her younger sister. "I hope by now I've made it clear how difficult that was for me to do, Anna. You are… quite irresistible, if you'll forgive my candor."

Anna doesn't really remember bringing her scarred arm to her chest, but she feels the tears fall as soon as they form. Lost for words and hopelessly besotted, she realizes that her sister is looking at her with apprehension.  _Fear_. All she can manage is a small, pitiable moan. A murmur. She can't find words and the desperate silence stretches for an eternity. The merest beginning of everything she wants to say to her wonderful sister dies on her lips as Elsa's expression contorts into one of grief.

"Oh, Anna… I-if I've mistaken-" Elsa brings a delicate hand to her lips. "I'm sorry," she breathes, terrified. She reaches into the space between them, as though to touch something impossibly fragile.

"Wait," Anna chokes out. When her sister withdraws her hand, clenching the hem of her dress and seemingly preparing for the worst, Anna frantically works to soothe those awful fears. "Elsa, please, I… You have no idea how happy I am," and of course she's sobbing as she says it. "I should be the one apologizing! I just… I had no idea you felt this way." She sniffles and wipes at her eyes fruitlessly. "Ugh, I must look like such a mess," she groans, staring pitifully up at her sister. She manages not to pout.

Elsa giggles, frozen tears on her cheeks as she hands Anna a handkerchief. "Not at all. You're as beautiful as ever," she whispers softly, her thumb catching fallen tears as she cradles Anna's cheek.

Anna lets out a shuddering breath, clasping her hand over Elsa's and turning her head to lay a gentle kiss on her sister's palm. "I love you _._ " The whispered words are simple.  _Desperate._ But they hold a much deeper meaning... An unconditional promise, and a fervent hope for the future. Even if she can't quite express it right now, Anna will happily spend her life exploring the depths of her feelings, shining a soft light on every treasured moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are what authors use to feed their families. c:
> 
> Smol-grump has blessed me with a beautiful sketch based on the first chapter of this story. Huge thanks to Cani for commissioning it! Take a look: http://neversung.tumblr.com/post/178911479064/art-by-smol-grump


	9. Unseen

They spend the next few hours in quiet comfort. Words are sparse, but they're imbued with a renewed sense of affection and familiarity. Elsa remarks on how their dynamic has shifted. A week ago, both of them were content with the relationship they had nurtured over the months. The suffering and the caretaking. The sure, soft-spoken words of support and comfort. The sheer  _devotion_ Elsa had for Anna, and the adoration that was returned in equal measure… All of this served to strengthen an unbreakable bond between them. "And yet now," Elsa says, "I find myself unbearably excited for the future. Whereas before today I was roughly certain of what lies ahead, I now find it impossible to fathom."

Anna murmurs her assent. "I definitely couldn't have imagined anything like this. It's a little scary, honestly." Nestled comfortably in her sister's arms, she gazes up at her with a grin. "But whatever comes… We'll have each other, won't we?"

Elsa swallows and softly whispers, "Always."

Anna drifts off to sleep after a while, and when she opens her eyes, she looks up to see Elsa reading silently, a placid smile on her face. Golden light from the low-hanging sun streams in through the window, bathing everything in a gentle, warm glow. Anna feels Elsa's fingers running through her hair, nails lightly scratching as they go. In response, her grip on Elsa's waist tightens a fraction, and her sister looks down from her book, smile widening as her eyes find Anna's.

"Hey there, snowbug. Did you have a nice rest?" Elsa asks gently.

"It was lovely," Anna says, bringing her hand up to stifle a small yawn. "Are you enjoying your book?" She can't quite make out the cover, but it looks vaguely familiar.

She nods. "I am. It is a charming story. Quite romantic." She smiles as she runs her fingers through Anna's hair once more. "Though it seems to belong to you. It was on the end table."

Anna spots the title of the book and blushes. It was one of the only books of its kind that she managed to find in their vast library, and she's read it countless times in the months since her recovery began.

"'The touch of velvet'… Such an interesting title." Elsa is grinning widely now, appearing to Anna rather like a cat that has cornered a squeaking mouse.

"I-it's not mine! I found it… in the library." Anna tries to salvage some dignity and musters a valiant defense, "So, in a sense… it actually belongs to the reigning monarch." She keeps a neutral expression when Elsa giggles, but her cheeks are flaming.

"Yes, I'd always thought so," Elsa replies, seemingly chagrined.

Anna sighs in open relief.  _Thank goodness_

"Imagine my surprise, then, when I found myself unable to locate this particular book a few months ago. Or at any point since. I'd given up looking after a while, assuming that it somehow became popular among the staff. I asked the head librarian if he knew who the book was currently loaned to, but that person understandably asked to remain unknown. And I was not willing to use my position to find out." Elsa regarded her with amusement, seemingly daring Anna to talk her way out of this.

 _She was looking for the book all these months? Oh no._ "Um, well, I haven't really had the chance to read it. I just saw the title a little while ago and thought it would be… interesting." Anna winces at her choice of words.

"Indeed? There seem to be quite a few bent pages… Many of them seem to mark a few of my favorite passages. When I last had this book in my possession, the pages were perfectly straight, if not worn from use."

"I… I don't know how that could be! They were—"

"Shall I read one of them?" Elsa turns to a page with a dog ear so worn and tattered that the corner looked as though it would fall off right at that moment.

Anna knew that page very well.  _My sister is going to kill me. I'm going to die of embarrassment right here on this couch._ "Oh, no, you don't have t—"

Elsa clears her throat and her regal voice carries through the silent chambers,  _"She saw the reddened cheeks of her lover as the young woman stared up at her. 'Oh, Mary,' she crooned as she ran her fingers through golden locks, 'Your beauty is a vice that I will never overcome.'_

Mary lay her cheek on Alice's pale thigh, her finger tracing a delicate path below her paramour's navel. 'Would that I could stay in your arms forever, my beloved. Or even for a full night.' She places a faint kiss on pale skin, delighting in the shiver that runs through the object of her desire. She looks down from impassioned eyes to marvel at the beautiful flower, blooming just for her.

A tremulous voice drifts through the chilly air, the fireplace having long since diminished to embers, 'It is my most fervent wish, My Heart. But alas— Ah! Oh, Mary…'

"Okay, okay, enough!" Anna shouts, her hand covering her face, desperately wishing for a gust of cold air to quell the burning heat of her cheeks.  _Among other places…_ "Elsa, please, I'm begging you."  _I simply cannot handle Elsa's voice saying such things._

"What is it, Anna?" Elsa asks with utmost innocence and perplexion, her head tilting just slightly as she looks on with mock concern. "Are you all right?"

Anna can barely hear her sister over the blood rushing through her ears. Her hand on her chest does not slow her racing heart. "There are easier ways to kill me, you know. I could fetch my dagger, if it pleases?"

Elsa giggles, rolling her eyes. "It does not. This is a much better death, I assure you."

"Can this at least wait until I'm old and gray? My heart won't put up as much of a fight then."

"Oh, Anna," Elsa says with pitying sympathy, though she's still chuckling with amusement. "Please don't talk like that. I was only teasing, I promise."

"Your teasing barbs have remarkable accuracy, Elsa," she responds dryly. She's still breathing hard but the playful conversation is helping to keep her mind off of Elsa's beautifully melodious voice ringing through the room.

"I should think I know my dear sister quite well," Elsa says, her grin painfully evident even as Anna shields her face from the harsh, cruel world full of teasing elder sisters.

Anna whimpers and tries to imagine a way out of this conversation that doesn't lead to any embarrassing concessions. "All right, yes, I have read the book. Twice. And yes, I have had it in my possession for far too long. But I haven't touched it in weeks!"  _Because I've memorized it._ "I'm not even sure why it was on the table there. Maybe it fell from the bed while Silje was turning down the sheets."

"So it was originally… under your pillow?"

Elsa's grin is infectious. With a flustered smile, Anna groans, "Stop bullying me, Elsa. It's not fair. I just woke up!"

Eyes widening as she glances over Anna's shoulder at the grandfather clock, Elsa stands abruptly. "Oh Anna, I'm so sorry, I failed to mention that Doctor Thomsen would be expecting us."

"Oh…" Anna is taken aback by the change in topic, unable to decide if this is preferable.  _Her teasing is mortifying but… it certainly doesn't feel unpleasant._  Blushing at that, she hastily grasps for the reprieve from her own feelings. "Does this have to do with the experimental treatment you mentioned this morning?"

Elsa nods excitedly, "Yes, he told me about it a couple of weeks ago. It's meant to help with the false sensation of pain in amputated limbs." She frowns, "Of course, that  _false_  pain feels quite real to the person experiencing it, but nevertheless, this treatment is supposed to do some good for such symptoms."

Anna tries to feel hopeful as she returns Elsa's smile with a strained one of her own. She tries her best to mirror Elsa's enthusiasm for yet another experimental treatment, but after months of trying and failing to rid herself of this agony, she shamefully recognizes the defeatism and begrudging acceptance of her condition. It helps her cope with the constant disappointment if she doesn't let herself hope for the best.

Elsa seems to pick up on this, of course. She circles the couch, stopping behind her sister and laying a soft hand on her shoulder. When Anna covers that hand with her own and tilts her head to hold it in place, Elsa leans down and lays a soft kiss on her sister's temple. "I know how difficult it is to let yourself dream, Anna. We won't see the doctor today if you don't wish it. We can always visit some other time. He had very little space available in his planner today, and that is why I made an effort to stick to our agreement, but it is not binding. I should have discussed it with you first."

Anna squeezes her sister's hand. "No, Elsa, we should see what he has for me. I can't let myself give up, no matter how much it hurts. I'm going to get better. I will. It just takes time. I accept that." She lifts her cheek from their hands, looking up to see Elsa beaming down at her. She flashes a toothy grin and Elsa's laugh sounds almost like a sob. Anna's gaze softens, and her smile becomes much more gentle. "Thank you, Elsa. You're the reason I haven't given up. Well… you and that damned oak tree in the courtyard. I  _will_  climb that thing again." Her look of determination must have been something special, as Elsa's undignified snort of laughter could likely be heard from the hall. Anna decides that, even if nothing else goes right this evening, her sister's pink cheeks and shy, embarrassed smile could be counted as a victory for the day.

o~o~o

They sit silently in Doctor Thomsen's office, waiting for the man as he rummages around in his private storeroom. Anna sits remarkably still for the first few minutes, but soon her nerves and anxiety get the better of her. She's fidgeting, kicking her legs, staring around the room at the various instruments and curiosities that the doctor must have collected over the years. She knows from past conversations that he has traveled the world, studying medicine in far flung corners of the globe for months at a time.

On the south wall, she sees jars of preserved organs lining a shelf. Off to the left, she sees the familiar model skeleton grinning eerily back at her. Her first memories of visiting this room as a young girl were of squealing at the horrid thing, hiding behind her mama and begging it to 'please go away'. She recalls sniffling as she sat outside her sister's door, telling her about the awful monster in the doctor's room.

And she remembers the pain of silence when her request for a hug went unanswered.

Upon her next visit, she noticed the fiendish pile of bones was missing from the corner of the room. When little Anna asked the doctor what happened to it, he chuckled and told her that Princess Elsa suddenly decided that it displeased her, and demanded it be removed. 'Barely seven years on this Earth and already she carries a queenly air of authority.' Her mama laughed warmly at that, while little Anna's heart soared as she smiled, knowing… appreciating…  _adoring_  what Elsa did for her.

"...Anna?"

Elsa's hand on hers startles her from her reverie. She looks up to see Doctor Thomsen striding into the room, a large triangular device tucked under one arm.

"So sorry about the wait, Your Majesty. Your Highness." He nods to both of them in turn.

"Quite all right, Oskar." Elsa's voice is cordial, yet clipped.

Anna adds, "You seemed to have your hands full back there, Doctor." She offers a warm smile. Elsa doesn't like to be kept waiting, but Anna feels for the man. She senses his fear in the Queen's presence, and even if it's not entirely warranted, she can't deny that it must be… intimidating, to be in his position.

"Yes, I've been meaning to tidy up back there— Ahh, it's no matter," he waves the topic away, positively jumping with joy as he places his burden on the desk in front of the two women. "Today I have something truly remarkable to show you." With a theatrical gesture to the odd device, he beams at them both, hands wringing together with obvious excitement.

"I had the idea for this device after speaking at length with the head medical attendant of the visiting Agrabahn royals. She mentioned illusion-based therapy— Essentially 'tricking' the mind into believing that all is well. I've no doubt that the Agrabahns have something very similar to this, but I regret that our conversation was cut short before I could press for details. You'll forgive the lack of craftsmanship," he finishes with a wry grin.

Elsa leans in to inspect the curious thing. "It's hollow… with a mirror on one side. How does it work?"

"It's also collapsible!" He says proudly, before clearing his throat. "But that detail can be discussed later. The gist of it is: One places his or her damaged limb inside of the hollow cavity, and the mirror reflects their good hand back to them. In this way, with effort, an illusion can be created of two fully formed and functional arms."

Elsa makes a surprised noise. "Clever! So—"

"Forgive me, Doctor, but what use is it to trick myself into believing my scarred stump of an arm is 'fully functional'?" Anna asks, trying her best to keep the bitterness from her voice. Her sister looks at her with sadness, fingers tangling themselves with her own. She bites back a groan of frustration at the whole affair. She knows she's being brash and childish. She waits for the doctor's response, mentally berating herself for how she's acting.  _They just want to help. What am_ I _doing to improve my condition?_

"My apologies. Perhaps I should have led with that."

"Y—"  _'Yes, perhaps you should have.' I really am awful, aren't I?_ She sighs. "No, I'm sorry. These talks just have a way of getting to me. Please continue, and forgive my rudeness."

"No apology necessary, Your Highness. I quite understand." He regains his composure, for which Anna is thankful. He didn't deserve that, considering how hard he's been working to help manage and remediate her pain. "The doctor I spoke with has a wealth of experience with amputation, and as luck would have it, the management of pain resulting from it. The sensation of pain in the missing parts of the limb is actually quite common in her experience. I must confess that my experience with amputation before this particular case was relegated to the battlefield. Not many opportunities for follow-up examinations there, I'm afraid."

At this, Anna feels hot shame wash over her. Disgusted by her selfish attitude and horrible demeanor, she feels tears prickle at the corners of her eyes.  _We're all just fumbling in the dark, and here I am scoffing at embers._  "Doctor Thomsen, I…" She can think of nothing to say except that she's sorry. Again.

He takes it in stride. "Not to worry, Your Highness." His smile is warm and somehow it makes Anna feel even worse. He continues, "Now, it seems reasonable to suppose that, if you are experiencing pain in a part of your limb that is no longer there—which does seem to be the case, from the symptoms you've described—that the pain must be originating in the mind itself. The purpose of this exercise will be to fool your mind. You will look at the mirror, but you will 'see' your right hand, perfectly formed, and you will hopefully begin to associate normal movement with painless sensation. After a while, the trauma of a broken hand will be replaced with the memories of a once fully functional hand, now lost.

The trick to this whole endeavor is to complete the illusion. Any movement you make with your left hand will be mirrored back to you as coming from your right hand as well, and so you must act, perceive, and imagine that your right hand is performing the exact same motions as the left, at the exact same time. If the illusion shatters, all is not lost, but it takes much effort to repair it."

Elsa is beside herself with excitement, and Anna smiles as her sister visibly works to contain it. For her part, Anna is certainly intrigued. The theory sounds plausible enough, but putting it into practice is a frightening prospect. Until now, she has actively avoided imagining her right hand at all costs. In her experience, it is quickly followed by impossibly quick spasms and unnatural, agonizing strain on fingers and a wrist that aren't even there.

When they happen of their own accord, she wills herself to ignore the sensation, treating it as false in the hopes that it will go away. So far it always has.

With a deep breath, Anna refrains from stamping down the hope burgeoning inside her. She glances at Elsa, who smiles encouragingly, cool palm squeezing gently, before they both turn back to the doctor.

"So, when do we begin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I was lucky to be able to get this chapter out in relatively short order. I apologize for not having any sort of set schedule or even consistent chapter lengths. I tend to just publish whenever I feel that it's done, for better or worse. I have big-but, unfortunately, vague-plans for this story, and precious little time to write. 
> 
> I'll keep pressing on, and I hope you enjoy what's to come.


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